Two days remain in the decade and it seems to me that 2019 was a serious breakout year for bisexuality with more people discovering bisexuality to asking many questions about it, to shifting some mental energy toward how to explore it. I normally see a lot of men talking about this but there are more women “stepping up” and letting their desires be known and doing their best to take more responsibility of their emotional and physical satisfaction.
I’ve seen more “new” bisexuals, men and women who were once silent but now they’re speaking up. Many know what they want and need while many more seek advice as to what direction they can – and maybe should – go in should they find that they’re able to take the plunge and find out what so many bisexuals have found out:
Being bisexual ain’t really all that bad. It’s not that there are so many bisexuals willing to leap into the pool; it’s a lot of bisexuals, well, complaining about not being able to find someone they can be intimate in this way. A lot of women are lining up to dive in – more than I’ve seen or have known about in a while – but the brick wall of being in a relationship with a man has made being able to express themselves just as difficult as it has always been… but women are being more assertive in this and, at times, deciding that the man who would deny them what they need to be happy is a man they don’t need to be bothered with.
2019 has shown me a few more differences between bisexual men and women who are stuck in place because of their current relationships. A lot of men are willing to bring their wives/girlfriends along for the ride while this isn’t so much the case for women, who have to deal with that guy who – and I’ll say stupidly or wishfully – thinks that a bisexual woman means that threesomes are on the horizon. I see men asking their women for permission and getting shut down; women ask for permission and, yeah, it’s threesome time and for both, this is pretty frustrating and, if one can find a modicum of comfort from this aggravating situation, just know that this problem is a very old one that’s very difficult to solve.
Just as old is this very important question: What are you willing to do to get what you want and need? Sadly, the answer for many in 2019 has been, “Nothing…” and I wonder if 2020 is going to be the year where those people who would answer, “Nothing…” to this question will decide that the answer to this question should not ever be, “Nothing…” Maybe those folks will have to make some hard decisions, to make some concessions in order to be able to express themselves in this way; maybe it’s time to take the rule book and throw it out of the window and work toward being able to have one’s cake and eat it, too – and as a lot of couples are actually doing and have done in 2019? And, yes, maybe, there will be many who will make the decision that what their partner doesn’t know ain’t gonna hurt them, well, unless their activities get discovered. I maintain that few people want to go this route but in 2019, I’ve heard of many who have and simply because in their minds, they have no other choice in the matter and it has always been true that it’s better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.
The overall angst against bisexuality lost a lot of steam in 2019; maybe we, as a world full of people, are starting to realize that trying to stop people from being bisexual is an exercise in futility, that they cannot do anything about this and as was proven in the battle against homosexuality. 2019 seemed to reveal a greater lack of confidence in the LGBTQ+ community and while there are many who actively support the cause, many more aren’t of a mind to be so political about their sexuality and see little sense in demanding that their rights be upheld when, in fact, they’ve always had the right to self-determination and, as people are wont to do, they’re gonna do whatever they gotta do without any political influence and, importantly, I think, to get away from the infighting that’s been going on within the LGBTQ+ community because, apparently, the community just isn’t as much about the “B’s” as it is about the “L’s” and “G’s.”
Will 2020 be the year when bisexuals decide to get theirs and to stop being denied their right to obtain sexual and emotional succor and pleasure? I most certainly hope so. I wish, hope, and pray for all of you to have a fantastic 2020 and one that will put you on the path to exploring your bisexuality beyond just sitting and thinking about it.
KDaddy23, Contributing Author
LivingBi/BiWifeLife 