Coming Out To Your Doctor?

So, this morning while scrolling through Facebook I saw a post about a guy who decided to come out to his primary care physician. He was more anxious and nervous to tell his doctor than he was to tell his wife. In the end the visit went well, he was supported by his doctor and he carried on with his day.

Some of Us have the courage to tell people how we identify, some of Us don’t. some of Us would rather not tell a soul while others wish we could go to the highest point in our city and yell it to the whole town.

When should you tell your health care provider about your sexuality?

Do you have to ever tell your doctor about your sexuality?

Well, that all depends on your particular health care situation. If you feel you need care for a health issue related to your sexuality then it may be a good idea to divulge so you can get the treatment you need.

It’s good to keep in mind for the easing of your nerves that all medical information is privileged and private, protected by HIPAA. I’ve included the link so you can read all about how your medical information is protected. 🙂

Your physician cannot share your personal information with ANYONE without facing professional, legal and possible civil ramifications under Federal law.

Do you need to tell your physician about your sexuality if you have no health care issues related to your sexual identity?

Well, in all honesty that’s a personal choice only  you can make.

For some, telling your doctor may be the first step to Coming Out. It may be a place where you can speak to someone face to face about your feelings surrounding your sexuality without fear of judgement or having to see this person on a day to day basis.

Your doctor may also have resources in your local community for support regarding your sexuality if you need.

In the end, telling your health care professional about your sexuality is a personal choice only you can make.

Only  you can determine your comfortability level with your doctor, only you can determine if He/She needs to know.

Have you had a coming out experience with a health care professional?

Tell Us all about it below.

I’m sure other readers who may be considering Coming Out to their doctor would benefit from knowing what it was like for you!

-Jay Dee, Founder

New Forum &/Or Chatroom

So, the community has clearly expressed a need for a chat room or forum on the site. I’m no techie (well maybe a little bit, 😉 ) but I’ve found some great forums and what I am finding is I cannot afford to support the site alone.

It costs money I just don’t have to add a quality chat space where 200+ people can connect in a Facebook-like community style at once.

My husband and I are on a tight budget, we’ll be grandparents twice over in a few months. I have two pregnant daughters-one due in Jan, the other in Feb. My daughter who is due in Jan is also marrying in Nov. Needless to say we have our fair share of expenses to add to our already tight budget.

This coming Sept I will be adding a PayPal donate button to source funding for all of HerBiLife & HisBiLife’s costs to upgrade into a community that’s functional for readers & members to connect in real-time.

There will NOT be any fees associated with visiting our blog, it will be your option to donate or not.

Donations are what will build the forum and chat space everyone here desires to connect with one another.

If you have reference for a free version of a forum or chat room that includes moderation to add to the side you can send links to and I’ll check them out. If I find that one works with our capacity (250 members plus able to chat at once) on a free level I will implement right away.

I know folks are eager to connect and so am I!

This will be a wonderful addition to Our site. I’m hoping to see the forum/chat room rolled out by the winter when readership is heaviest.

In the meantime, any post containing contact information will not be approved for publishing. In protection of our readers it is strongly discouraged to include personal information in a public post.

Just hold on everyone, I’m working on it…I’m working on it. 🙂

– Jay Dee, Founder

Politically Correct?

Every single day there’s a new LGBT terminology, a new politically correct way to address a fellow human, a proper way to approach a topic.

Last time I checked each human is an individual different from every single other human on this planet. Not even identical twins think and behave EXACTLY alike in all respects.

Through media and politics it seems we as residents of this country have lost our right to think and feel however we may wish.

Sure racism, homophobia, trans phobia and all of the many other unjust patterns of thought are harmful, painful and horrible but the fact is we can’t stop people from thinking and feeling however they do. Not everyone agrees with Our site I’m sure, but we’ll be here anyway 🙂

Whomever controls this country can attempt to inundate our population with the latest schools of thought but not everyone is required to buy in.

Some folks just won’t change until they leave this earth. Some folks are able to see varying points of view and adjust accordingly or even change perspectives. Not everyone can.

I have never, ever been one to be politically correct. Respectful, yes, politically correct, no. I wouldn’t be who I am if I was. I’m  outspoken, I think for myself, don’t have a problem speaking my opinion and I don’t take kindly to people telling me what I should think and how I should feel.

I’m sure our readers and other Administrators can agree being told what to think and how to feel is not the cloth we choose to be a part of, that’s why we’re here. To speak out on an area not many are speaking out on.

All of this being said, for the record HerBiLife & HisBiLife (Formerly BiWifeLife) will take a NEUTRAL stance on all controversial and political topics regarding & within the LGBT Community.

Many if not most of Our readers ARE NOT involved in the politics of the LBGT Community and I, as the Founder of this community, don’t feel it’s appropriate to get our readers caught up in controversy or conflict.

If you notice Bruce Jenner is not on this blog. Nor will I write about the topic. I would ask any other Administrator/Contributor to refrain from jumping on the band wagon with any other controversial LGBT topic discussion here.

I think for myself, as do you, as does every soul on this planet.

Sure, we can express our opinions and discuss hot topics but to get caught up in the frenzy of some hot political topic based around sexuality or gender identity is just not my style.

I’m a rogue of society and I’m fine being just that. Never will I follow the masses.

I can be respectful of other’s thoughts, feelings and perspectives but I will not be bullied by the court of public opinion or jeopardize our peaceful, budding community by opposing some school of thought people think I should follow or promote.

Much rather would just stay out of things…

That’s what works for me and I think that’s what’s best for Us here. Can’t please everyone you know?

How do you feel about LGBT politics?

-Jay Dee, Founder


My BiWifeLife Summer Fail

So, all through the summer I’ve had this thing in the back of my mind telling me I was going to meet “Her” organically before the leaves turn brown again.

I refused to go online looking but maybe once or twice so far because I believe in the power of energy.

In my mind I felt like one day I was going to walk past her, she’d walk past me, we’d smile, speak and go from there. Maybe she’d sit across from me on the train, stand next to me on a bus, sit next to me on my lunch break or she may even be one of my colleagues. I love a woman with a head on her shoulders!

How can I not drive myself crazy over the hopes of finding “Her” when I crave her presence in my life like I crave food when I’m hungry or sleep when I’m tired?

I am not a heterosexual being. Being in a relationship with one gender is very difficult at times 😦

I’ve seen so many beautiful women, so many have flirted, given the indication and even stopped to speak here and there. A few times I thought I may have met “Her”.  For some reason I find myself a bit too shy to organically generate a new relationship at this stage in my life.

My work can be all consuming and I barely have the time my family wants some days, let alone have the time for a new relationship. 

I ask myself:

Am I in a position to develop a relationship given the position my life is in?

How much time would I realistically have for her?

How much time would I take away from my family to be with her?

How realistic is it that we’ll have the time we need with each other?

How realistic is dating when we’re on a tight budget and saving for goals?

These are all questions I rapidly ask myself as the opportunity is presenting myself, then I do what seems to be my now normal epic fail move by allowing the moment to pass without seizing it.

After the moment’s passed and the sight of her is gone (but still lingering in my mind and I’m fantasizing about what may have come if I would have just said _____) I then proceed to kick myself in the ass because EVERY SINGLE DAY I am acutely aware of “Her” absence in my life and I just potentially let “Her” walk away!

What the hell is going on with me!?! I’m a Leo, things don’t work that way for Leo’s! We’re never shy, we’re never nervous in matters of romance!

I’ve never had these kinds of issues before. I never had issues going after what I wanted. I was always the kind of girl who had no problem speaking to a female of interest.

Now mums the word and I really find myself nervous around a beautiful woman!

I don’t know what’s happening here but it’s a new twist in my BiWifeLife…

Pondering the reasons…

-Jay Dee, Founder

BiWifeLife is a safe and supportive space for bisexual married/partnered folks

I agree with you, Jay Dee.  I think part of the reason this forum has been so resourceful for other people is because we are truly here to HELP and provide SUPPORT.  There is enough stigma and complication happening in our world, let this forum serve as a SAFE place for people to come where they can be vulnerable and JUST BE.


An environment like the one we have here at BiWifeLife has to be protected and boundaries have to be maintained if we are to remain a SAFE and SUPPORTIVE environment that can allow for personal growth and fulfillment.  We cannot possibly remain this free public space if we open the forum up to romantic relations being publicly displayed.  I think that kind of interaction needs to be private—much like the dating websites set up now—they are specifically set up for people to date and privately communicate among one another.


Here, though, we offer a shared public space that needs to be moderated to maintain the rightful respect people deserve.


I think the other forums that JayDee is describing above (where the boundaries are crossed and a public forum is being used for dating purposes) can lead to a breakdown of the safe space we meticulously moderate and work hard to respect.  Such a dynamic can likely elicit fear from our readers which would go against the purpose for creating this site.

A Dating Forum? Here?

There are several reasons why I haven’t explored the idea of having a way to “hook up” or personally connect outside of the site here on BiWifeLife.

  1. It brings unwanted readers, comments and overall drama
  2. It can become a very raunchy place very quickly
  3. It can become overridden with spammers
  4. It can turn into primarily a dating space vs. supportive space
  5. I don’t want this space to be used in any way to enable or promote cheating on one’s spouse.

I’ve seen my fair share of posts saying they wish they could connect with someone near and I feel your pain.

I really do. Thing is, I’m not a developer, I’m not a wordpress guru either. I am one person hoping that this Fall I’ll have more hands on help to get us to a place where we can serve all the supportive needs of the community (including maybe a dating app/site/page/forum one day).

In all honesty it would be cool to have that within this space if it wasn’t for those who’ve tried before us and proven how hectic online hook up sites for bi women can get.

I don’t want us to get away from why we’re here. I’ve spent a lot of time working on the ground getting the word out about Us, not really writing much.

This Fall we plan to be online with great fresh articles much more frequently on topics related to Us and rolling out a new look and feel.

I’m rolling around ideas in my head but again, I’m no techie. This blog doesn’t receive donations and I can’t personally afford to invest in tech services for the blog.

We’ll get there one day I’m sure after we’ve well thought out solutions to combat known problems that haven’t allowed other online spaces where women meet to flourish.

For now I’m inviting EVERY ONE to comment below:  

Have you had luck meeting women and if so WHERE did you meet? 


Do you know of any legit online dating sites for Bi Women?

-Jay Dee, Founder