The importance of the Bi+ community

Hey everyone,

It’s been roughly one year since I’ve posted.  I have enjoyed reading your posts and have collectively seen many of us are seeking a sense of belonging as it relates to our Bi identities.

Right now is a trying time for many of us as we watch LGBT and racial rights be legally challenged by the conservative right.  Witnessing people take a stand against dehumanization is empowering.  What’s also empowering is connecting with the Bi+ community.

I just wanted to point you all to a good book written by Jennifer Baumgardner entitled “Look Both Ways.”  Also, this may have been posted here before but check out Meetup.com or http://www.binetusa.org/bi-groups-in-the-us to locate Bi+ groups in your area.  Also, check out any of the following Bi+ organizations for details on annual conferences and events that are definitely worth traveling to if you can manage it.

  • BECAUSE CONFERENCE (Bisexual Organizing Project)
  • Bay Area Bisexual Network
  • Bialogue
  • BiNet USA
  • Bisexual Resource Center
  • New York Area Bisexual Network
  • Polysexual Alliance for Visibility, Educaiton and Support
  • Transcending Boundaries

As we enter this beautiful spring season, hopefully, you can take the time to appreciate all that spring has to offer: the quiet rain, colorful flowers, longer sunny days, being outdoors, fresh-cut grass, birds chirping, people watching, etc.  There is no better time than now to delve into our senses…from smelling to hearing to touching…it’s as though people are eager to start the new season off with zest after the long drawn out winter.  Just know that you are not alone in this and you can always reach out to us.

Thanks for being here virtually!

xxoo,

Mercedes Jet

 

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What BiWifeLife!? Heteronormalcy Takes Over -_-

Bad blogger, bad blogger! There, I’ve chastised myself for you. :/ I’ve thought of you very frequently. I’ve tried to get to you night after night. No matter how much you’re on my mind, I just haven’t been able get to you.

I’ve had so much to tell you! So many thoughts to share…Life just hasn’t given me room. Life hasn’t given me room for myself! My husband and I barely even have time for intimacy let alone our BiLives! When we do find ourselves approaching intimacy it’s urgent, intense and infrequent :/ We have found our own ways of supplementing our bi desires without others. Essentially we’ve become unwittingly heterosexual & monogamous.

In recent years my career has taken off in ways I could never conceive. I work in Research & Social Justice. Just this past week I was on national radio, a month ago I established a consulting business at the urging of my colleagues and I am being urged to publish a book before Fall.

I’ve been encouraged to take my work to the state level by all I’ve encountered in my professional trajectory and I am really considering running for local office.

That’s a huge change from my days of sitting at home blogging after dinner or after everyone was in bed 5 years ago!

I’ve returned to school which is beyond demanding as a Crime Intelligence Analysis major. After dinner I’m buried baby bed time madness then legalese until the wee hours of the morning.

When I started this blog I was a mom and wife with nowhere to connect with other bisexual wives. I was not working full time, I did not have babies, I was not in school full time.

I had no idea where to meet other bi wives.

I’ve since learned there were other communities when I started BiWifeLife. Back then I was unaware. I started this space not really expecting any response.

I had no idea people would actually come to the site. I had no idea people would actually begin to communicate with each other below posts in the comments, even though I wanted them to and encouraged connecting with others.

When stats started to skyrocket, I decided to launch a program on the ground at our local LGBT Center. I had dreams of a BiWives Clubs, pretty pink satin jackets with embroidery included. 🙂

Only one person who reads this blog has shown up to a BiSocial Gathering.

ONE.

Attendees of the monthly gathering saw our FB event or a flyer at the LGBT Center. Through the Center, my professional work began to mesh with my BiWife blogging. I told other Organizers and Advocates about the site. It was welcomed open arms into the LGBT Community in NYC.

From there, I searched and posted in countless places seeking volunteers to keep the site running. I saw my career & family trajectory and knew this was growing way too quick for one person to maintain.

No matter how much I posted, I didn’t get any responses for volunteers in any area. After months, finally two BiWifeLife readers decided they would like to help keep it running. At that juncture, I just couldn’t do it alone and the site was at risk of going under.

With new Contributing Authors and Moderators, the blog was able to keep running! Super Huge thanks to @meredithlee11 @mercedesjet @pinupgirlbeauty. Again, I had no real idea of what I was doing, this community just began to unfold before my eyes…and I loved it! I wanted to keep the conversation going. I wanted people to support each other through the difficult life trials of living as a bisexual human in long term relationships or marriages.

I began to think about diversity in this space. There were MANY types of humans of varying genders and relationship structures who are bisexual, and married or involved in long term relationships.

We changed the name to LivingBi/BiWifeLife, opened up for more volunteers.

Nada. No responses.

Eventually a BiHusband with his own blog decided to step up and support the male identified readers. Super Huge thanks to you KDaddy 🙂

Over time life took it’s hold on Our Contributing Authors. One of our contributing authors left after about a year, another kind of drifted away, KDaddy is still hanging in there with me but he has his own blog, and life.

As my family and career grew, the less I was able to post original articles and respond to readers. Countless nights I wanted to let my fingers fly across the keyboard and share thoughts, discuss issues with you all.

I left the space open for you all to connect with each other in my absence. Myself and others have been approving comments to allow for continued growth of the space.

OUR BILIVES

Here we are now. My husband and I live in Suburbia USA. We are the epitome of hetero-normalcy. With the passage of SESTA/FOSTA changing the internet as we know it, my husband and I are confused as to how we will meet others like ourselves as many of the sites we frequented are disappearing.

Being a heteronormal appearing both bisexual couple makes it VERY difficult to meet others with similar interests. Where we could once go online to meet others, that is quickly changing.

Oh there’s so much to talk about!

I’m out of school in 3 weeks for the summer and plan to return to blogging while working on my book (s). There are way too many topics I’d love to hear from you all on.

To Our loyal readers & commenters, we thank you for your continued support.

If you would like to volunteer as a Contributing Author or any other role to keep the community engaged, please send an email to biwifelife@gmail.com.

Tell me, has the recent change in internet dating accessibly impacted your BiLife at all?

Don’t forget to BROWSE, COMMENT, CONNECT with other readers! We’re always here in the background approving comments, trying to keep the community alive.

Wishing your relationships and inner beings peace, love and longevity!

-Jay Dee, Founder