Coming Out at Thanksgiving?

Tomorrow’s Turkey Day. Families all across these United States are gathering over family dinner. Many family members are gathering with other family members they haven’t seen all year.

Some of you will be going home for the holiday.

Some of you will be hosting the holiday at your home.

Others will be visiting a variety of family and friends, aka house hopping.

Some of you don’t celebrate this ‘holiday’.

For those of you who don’t, this article is not for you. 

This article is for those of you who do attend family gatherings this week.

I’ve heard so many Coming Out horror stories surrounding Thanksgiving.

“This year I told my family at Thanksgiving I’m bi.” Every time I hear that statement I always think the same thing, how did that even sound like a good idea? Then the inevitable horror story follows. I’ve also heard absolutely hilarious and awesomely supportive stories. There’s a few ways Coming Out to family and friends can go no matter what time of year.

Here’s 10 questions I encourage anyone to consider and ask themselves before Coming Out at Thanksgiving Dinner.

  1. Why Thanksgiving Dinner? Folks are about to eat, eating, or just ate. Is Thanksgiving really an appropriate place and time for your family to discuss your sexuality?
  2. Am I being self centered by subjecting everyone to my sexual life at a family gathering?
  3. Will this be a difficult or easy going conversation?
  4. Will my spouse/partner be there? How will my husband/wife/partner feel sitting by my side as I Come Out?
  5. Do I really want to shift the focus off of family togetherness and gratuity for our blessings to my sexuality and sexual preference through the holiday?
  6. Why the reveal in the first place?  Is this burning desire to tell your family going to change your life in any meaningful way if you do tell everyone in attendance what you do in your private life?
  7. Why everyone at once? Does Grandma & extended family really need to know what you do at home behind closed doors? Is your sexuality really relevant to everyone at the dinner table? Can you tell those who you feel need to know individually?
  8. How will my sexuality reveal effect every single person? Seriously, consider how will folks take the news. How can/will the reveal of your reality affect others lives if at all?
  9. Will my reveal make me feel any better once done?
  10. Will children be in attendance and if so do I want them to  hear adult conversation?

I personally don’t celebrate this holiday in the traditional manner-my immediate family does not do yearly family gatherings for this holiday. I also do not have family/relatives that do not know about my sexuality. Those relatives who do not know about my sexuality are folks I don’t gather with and don’t know me personally.

If one has broke bread with me & is someone I consider family-they know about my sexuality already.

I encourage those of you who do not have family that is aware of your sexuality to  really ponder Thanksgiving as a time to Come Out.

One sentence can change your life, for the better or for worse.

-Jay Dee, Founder

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-Jay Dee, Founder

Am I Heterosexual?

I knew that would catch your attention, lol. I sure as heck am not heterosexual, but you couldn’t tell from my life.

I’m utterly consumed with pregnant daughters having babies back to back, back to back weddings, a crazy landlord, 3 part time jobs that all add up to the pay of one good full time job and wondering when will I get MY  life back?

Will I get MY life back?

Not only do I barely have time to blog but I don’t have anything to blog about. I don’t bring politics to this site because I like keeping this a community type atmosphere without the drama, tension and negativity political discussions can sometimes create. I don’t want this to be a space where people come to bash others for not believing as they believe others should believe, inviting in language policing and LGBTQAI hierarchy through LGBT knowledge. There goes a huge audience, and lots of controversial topics out the proverbial cyberspace door to this site.

I don’t have a girlfriend, I don’t have time for one now, although I fantasize about one every day.

Every day I say I can make time, I can go on the search for, I can find a girlfriend…but I just really honestly don’t see how I’d make time without taking time away from something that requires my attention.

I’m getting older, my self confidence isn’t what it used to be since marriage and grand babies on the way. Although I’m only 36 I feel much older, they say you are as old as you feel.

I don’t feel young and attractive despite looking so on the outside. I don’t feel like I’m at the top of my prowess anymore.

I feel like a wife. Like a mother. Like a grandmother. Not like a bisexual woman hoping to have a woman to love as I love my husband.

My insecurities eat me up when I think of a triad again, I don’t have the time or finances to pursue a woman and I don’t like one night stands.

Ugh!

Am I straight? Hell no but some days it seems like I sure am living a heterosexual life. Not taking my husband for granted in the least, but he’s not a woman.

I have not had sex with a woman in well over a year, a girlfriend in 2  years.

Yea, some days I feel like I’m forced into heterosexual life…by life itself. 😦

-Jay Dee, Founder