The Urge

Discovering bisexuality is one hell of a shock to one’s system; it takes everything you thought you knew about love, sex, and relationships and flushes it right down the nearest drain and for many, it is horribly confusing and unsettling trying to make sense of these feelings and more so when we live in a world that says you’re not supposed to feel this way.  It can be bad… but not as bad as the next thing I’m about to tell you:

The urge to do something about those feelings.  Oh, the urge is powerful beyond belief; it occupies your thoughts, hammering away at your sensibilities and sensibilities that might be telling you that doing something about those feelings just can’t be done – and shouldn’t be.  If it’s true that a lot of bisexuals suffer from mental illnesses like depression, it’s not because they’ve found that they’re bisexual – it’s not being able to do a damned thing about it and when every fiber of your being is literally screaming at you to get off your ass and do something before it really does make you insane… and it just might do that.

Many people try to suppress this urge, this compulsion, to find someone, get naked with them, and hopefully experience orgasmic bliss in a way they’ve not known of before.  The mind kinda “takes over” and starts to work on the problem of how to do something about this which just adds to the confusion.  Bisexuals already in a relationship – and despite common belief – aren’t of a mind to cheat in order to get this done and, indeed, many do not… but it’s also true that many do because, in their minds, there is really no other viable option unless they’re fortunate enough – and brave enough – to ask for permission.  Many won’t ask because they “know” the answer is going to be, “No fucking way!” – it’s a typical response.  And while many accept this verdict, the urge to do something just does not ever go away and it takes a great effort of will to not only suppress the urge but to also do it in a way that’s not going to really screw them up.

So while some are, let’s say, somewhat successful in their efforts to suppress, in the end, they’re really making things worse for themselves as, little by little, their need to do something – and their inability to do something – will start eating at them and causing changes in their thinking and personalities as they manifest things like anger over the littlest of things or they find themselves just sitting around doing a lot of nothing when, prior to this, they were very active.  And all along, the mind is still very much hard at work trying to get this urge taken care of because it knows – even if its owner doesn’t fully realize it – that if it doesn’t find a way to get this done, some very bad shit is going to happen to it.

Some people are of a mind that actually doing something is the hard part and I can assure you that that’s really the easy part; trying to fight the urge is way harder and is made even harder when a bisexual is in a relationship.  The rules of monogamy are, supposedly, inviolate; they cannot be broken and should never be broken for any reason – and not even if breaking them will, in a way, save your life if not your sanity.  At the very least, taking care of that urge is an act of self-preservation and I’m fairly sure that there are lot of you who are reading this and are feeling this way.

So the urge is there and it’s not going anywhere and just keeps getting stronger and begging the question of what to do… and there are no easy answers to this particular question and it’s not really helpful when I say, “Do whatever you gotta do…” or ask you what are you willing to do about this – then it’s a matter of if the price is too high and if it is, well, it is what it is and another solution must be found to keep the urge to do something from trying to eat you alive or, heaven forbid, coerce you into doing something that might not be in your best interest.

I just know that many people will do whatever they have to do to attend to the urge.  I’ve been bisexual damned near all of my life and I can’t tell you why the urge is so powerful or why doing something just makes so much sense… while not making a lot of sense depending on your situation.  I just know it’s the most powerful thing I’ve ever felt and despite all of my experiences, I still feel it.  I’ve seen the urge mess people up when they’ve tried to ignore it or make it go away and while I’ve seen people give into the urge and do something and wound up screwing up their relationship which, of course, ain’t a good thing but, yeah, some people are of a mind that it’s worth it given the amount of emotional and mental stress the urge will place upon them.

No easy answers.  Not an easy choice or decision to make for anyone.  I know the urge to have the sex and experience the intimacy just never goes away because even when you’re not consciously thinking about it, your subconscious is still thinking about it in the background and maybe even invading your dreams.  Maybe damned if you do, definitely damned if you don’t.  If doing becomes the thing that has to be done, all I can really tell you is to think first, then act if you must… and if you can.  Just be aware that if you give into the urge, um, it’s not going to be satisfied with just one act and especially that one act was what the urge needed.  You’re gonna want more; you can’t seem to get enough of it and while, at some point, the newness of it will eventually kinda/sorta wear off, once you get to doing, going back to not doing is even harder.

Yeah… it seems that ya can’t win for losing, huh?  Women, for the most part, have it easier than men do and mostly because not too many people pay a lot of attention to women who are “really chummy” with each other – it’s just something that women do and have always done while for men, if they look like they’re “too into each other,” well, they must be having sex with each other, the nasty bastards!  And while you’d think that men would be head over heels about having a bisexual woman, that’s not as true as ya might think:  A lot of men are intimidated and even offended that his lady has an interest that doesn’t have a damned thing to do with him which is why some women have to endure his presence in the much-dreaded threesome and while that might be fun from time to time, what a woman wants in this is that intimacy without any dicks being involved.  I’m of a mind that, hey, if that’s what you gotta do to get what you want, that’s easier to deal with than not being able to do anything at all.  While I don’t recommend being sneaky and all that, well, yeah – the truth is that it happens but if a woman can use her “pussy power” to move things in the direction she needs to them move, well, do what you gotta do.

It’s better than nothing at all and I’m not just saying that; I know too many men and women in this situation who have come to this conclusion on their own.  Just keep in mind that even while you might be trying to figure out how to make the urge happy – and without giving away the farm if possible, the urge is going to be there and messing with you one way or the other until you find a way to do something about it.  Best way?  Ask and even demand permission.  “Worst way?”  If denied permission, do it anyway and, yes, that’s what a lot of people do because there’s no escaping the urge.  None.

KDaddy23, Contributing Author.