Married but…Bisexual & Single…?

I’m married.

That says a lot.

Like, A. Lot.

That ¬†says “I’m unavailable” “I’m taken” “I’m monogamous” “I’m loyal” “I’m with someone for life”.

That’s usually what people hear when someone says, “I’m married.” or sees a wedding band on someone’s finger.

Most single people look for wedding bands or ‘tan lines’ before or while speaking to someone of interest.

Most single people ask if their romantic interest is ‘involved’ with someone.

All my life I’ve been in poly relationships. Never just one human. Never was me and I was always pretty up front about it. My romantic interests always tried to change that but it never went well. I didn’t mind committing to one person above all people, even commit to being his or her wife…but I never promised monogamy-despite some trying by any means to change that about me. I did abstain from a polyamorous lifestyle through my entire last marriage…and I suffered the entire time being untrue to myself.

Aside from that tidbit I couldn’t see a life of pure monogamy because I love both genders.

Now, here’s where it gets complicated.

Marriage.

I’m bisexual.

I’m married.

I’m committed, I’m loyal, I’m with someone for life…but I’m available to humans of the same gender, cis-gender females (women assigned female at birth) only as agreed upon by my husband and I.

We’ve discussed my attraction to trans females and he’s okay with it, as long as he’s involved ūüôā

My husband and I have explored every facet of our sexualities with each other (as far as I know, but he may surprise me one day, lol) .

We have clear boundaries, clear communication and we’re okay with each other’s sexualities 110%.

Most females aren’t. That last statement may read like an incomplete thought but hear me out…

Let’s start with the rings. Females¬†see my wedding rings, they don’t want to talk.

Makes all the sense in the world. I wouldn’t talk to someone with rings on.

I would be offended and disgusted by someone with rings on flirting or trying to speak intimately to me.

I’d be pissed off for their spouse!

Secondly, in today’s times rings can mean married to either gender so there’s ¬†no way to tell if I have a wife or a husband just by presentation alone.

Either way it goes, I’m married.

If I get far enough to talk to someone intimately with my rings on and they don’t mention it, I become weary of that female quickly.

What kind of female would be willing to flirt or engage in intimate conversation without knowing anything regarding the status of those rings she can obviously see!?

In my current work I see women every day who would assume I’m Queer by the space we’re in.

I get smiles, I get hello’s but it never goes further than that.

My rings are pretty noticeable I’d say.

I love my wedding rings.

I love my husband.

I love the life we’ve built.

I also love women…

When I do get close to a female and there’s an obvious attraction immediately I hear one of the following: “Well, I don’t want to get to know your husband”, “He can’t watch.”, “I don’t want to have sex with him.”

There’s all these presumptions about me, him, us and because of these presumptions females are understandably guarded.

Most times organically meeting a woman has so many layers to it the challenge seems insurmountable and I loose the motivation to even try, killing any hopes for Ms. Right to enter my life.

The complexity of my sexuality only gets more complex with age.

-Jay Dee, Founder

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS…

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT PEOPLE WITH WEDDING RINGS ON FLIRTING…OR ATTEMPTING TO?

 

 

 

Pride?

I’m sure we’ve all heard the old saying ‘Pride is a sin’.

Over the years Gay Pride has become a hugely celebrated holiday in the US.

For those of us who are in hetero appearing relationships this time of year can be ultimately conflicting.

Especially for those of Us who are not ‘out’ to family and friends.

It’s a time when the country is talking about the Gay community a bit more than usual.

For those of us with Bi Invisibility those conversations can be VERY uncomfortable.

I cannot count how many times my husband and I have been around conversations concerning homosexuality and bisexuality where abrasive, homophobic words and thoughts were said.

It’s easy to get fired up and ‘come out’ by ‘accident’ in a heated conversation this time of year.

It’s a time many of Us choose to come out to loved ones around PRIDE.

Many bisexual humans involved in hereto appearing long term relationships don’t feel PRIDE has anything at all to do with Our lives.

I personally wish We had more visibility, more awareness, less stigma, more respect for the fact we do exist.

Despite my husband’s birthday falling on NYC PRIDE every year he has again selflessly decided to walk¬†again in this year’s NYC PRIDE march in solidarity with all the BiHusbands of our City.

For now we will be the faces of you all who are still behind the walls of Bi Invisibility but We invite you all to march with us this and every year.

One of these years we’ll be on vacation somewhere privately celebrating his birthday, that year we hope to see you all representing while we’re away.

So far we’ve yet to break the walls that hide Us because it is you the readers who are crippled by societal stigma and fear, preventing Us from doing so.

You have not emailed us, you have not shown up, shown out or volunteered.

So many of you¬†are still so deeply hidden. ūüė¶

Our cause is not to shine a light on each of you personally but a light on Us as a whole within the LGBTQAI Community.

We do hope this year you’ll consider meeting Us in Manhattan tomorrow to march with Our signs, behind the Brooklyn Community Pride Center banner.

If not my hope in writing this article is to get you all to thinking about your own Bi Invisibility and how it hurts/helps your life & others who are still hiding in the shadows of stigma and societal perceptions.

I know my life is hurt because I am invisible and the girl of my dreams can’t see me…

Therefore I march for Our visibility.

-Jay Dee, Founder, LivingBi/BiWifeLife

I Want to Cheat!!!

Seems to be the common theme in these pages.

I haven’t written about cheating since our early days but with the high influx of comments from readers struggling with desires, urges, thoughts, feelings of cheating I feel it’s time to go over this again.

Let’s look at this from several angels.

#1- You cheat. Your spouse doesn’t find out. You win…or do you?

What’s done in the dark will come to the light. Maybe in softly spoken words in your sleep, an open, forgotten, unattended email account, a phone record, a text message, a smell, a look, an anything that can shatter your world in a millisecond can happen. Do you really want to risk your partner finding out one day…potentially?

If you’re willing to cheat also ask yourself are you ready to lose EVERYTHING you’ve built with your spouse?

Are you ready to change where you live, your friends, how your children see you, how your family sees you, how people at your place of worship will view you?

Are you ready to turn your whole life upside down because YOU ruined your marriage by cheating?

#2 You don’t cheat. You don’t tell your partner how you feel either. You become distant, you daydream, you late night internet search, you watch porn, you fantasize about your bisexual desires while having sex with your partner. Your partner notices the rift between you two, you refuse to talk about it now the rift becomes a chasm and shit gets tense in your marriage.

Why not talk about it?

How will your life change if you do talk about it?

Will talking about it yield a better possible outcome than not talking about it?

If you do talk about it how could your life improve?

If you don’t continue to talk about it will not talking about it make your bisexuality any less real?

Will your silence slowly dwindle your desires or secretly fuel them even more?

#3 You decide to talk about it and…

All hell breaks loose. Your partner can’t deal, your marriage is threatened and you feel you’ve made the worst mistake ever by opening your big mouth. In all reality, if your partner can’t love you for who you are the real question isn’t your bisexuality or your love for your partner, it’s your partner’s love for you. Nobody says your partner¬†has to accept you sleeping with other people but your partner should love you enough to hear you out, respect your feelings and be willing to have a decent conversation about what you’re going through. If not you need to ask yourself¬†are you really happy with someone you can’t talk to about your truest feelings?

OR

Your spouse listens. Your spouse asks questions. You and your spouse discuss options that fit your marriage best. You take your time and work things out and your marriage improves for the understand you’ve built.

There are SO MANY ways the conversation could go. You know your spouse, you know you. You know your relationship. You know your level of communication and understanding with your spouse.

Either way it goes, it’s wrong to cheat.

You know it, that’s why you haven’t done it yet.

You also know nothing good comes of cheating in the long run.

Cheating only yields immediate satisfaction, but then what?

Think about the ‘then what’ part.

Play the whole thing out, including the part where your spouse finds out, before you do anything at all.

Are you okay with the way the story ends?

-Jay Dee, Founder

What Does It All Mean?

Have you watched television recently? Have you listened to any news? Have you seen the world shift?

I have.

Queer, Gay, Lesbian is all around us. There are rainbows everywhere in the North East.

There are rainbows outside of businesses, in commercials, in cartoons for children…being Gay is okay today.

Is it okay to be bisexual now too?

Well, that depends on what you classify bisexual as, who you’re asking, what gender presentation you have, what gender your partner is…and the list goes on.

Huh? I thought Bisexual meant Bisexual and that’s that if I say that’s what I am.

There have been new letters added to the standard LGBT…now there’s QAI.

Politicians, Organizations, Grants, Funding, Professionals have all focused the spotlight on LGBTQAI Rights. There’s been a long standing movement that has moved many things, and created today’s ‘Queer friendly’ America.

It’s okay to be Transgender, it’s okay to be a Trans Youth today. Those who share their experiences are heralded as heroes and brave souls.

Ten, twenty years ago men were publicly shamed for being ¬†cross dressers. I was a teen when RuPaul came along and changed that perspective. Still her presence didn’t change societal perception at that time. From then to now it has been a journey for Trans Rights.

What does that mean to those of us who don’t live a lifestyle that includes all the changes the world has made?

What does that mean to those of us who could NEVER come out as anything other than straight, other than a mom, a teacher, a wife, a husband, a role model?

What does that mean when we’re surrounded by people who DO NOT accept the progression of the LGBTQAI movement in America?

What does all of this mean for those of us who don’t even know what LGBTQAI means!?!?

Well…

There is a movement of people who have chosen this field of work (LGBTQAI Rights/Advocacy) to advance efforts to balance injustices in society. Those who fought for the basic right to exist in our own skins without prejudice, discrimination, stigma & violence.

I was one of those people who fought for the right to hold my girlfriend…and boyfriend’s hand in public, at the same time, without fear.

I wasn’t sure if I was Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual. I didn’t know if I was a freak like most of society said I was or a sexual deviant like I ¬†thought I was. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a boy or I was a boy trapped in a girl’s body because I liked girls and wearing boys clothes or if I was still a girl and just a tomboy! I wasn’t sure if one day I’d catch a ‘gay disease’ and God would send me into a pit of burning brimstones because I was an abomination or not.

There was a movement of people way back before my mom could figure out her sexual identity, who were helping people work these kinds of questions out. They figured out what to call sets of preferences and behaviors so they could gain understanding from people who oppressed those¬†with ‘alternative sexualities’.

I learned from the people who taught the world about LGBT at a young age, from the 2nd/3rd generation of LGBT folks in NYC:

L stood for Lesbian. Girls who liked girls and didn’t like boys were Lesbians. G stood for Gay, that meant a boy who liked boys and not girls. Then there was Bisexual, they were nasty, confused, slutty and just liked to have sex with everyone because they had sex with boys and girls. T stood for Transgender which was a new word being implemented in replacement of Drag Queens & Cross Dressers. They were not really a presence but more so a known entity. They were men who dressed and emulated women. I didn’t see them around The Center much (where I learned all this), but I saw them coming and going to and from clubs in the West Village.

Society condemned Us all to hell fire and brimstones, considered us a risk to public health, the institution of family and saw us as a threat to future generations/human evolution and population.

This was back in the 90’s.

Since then, the culture has changed. More and more people joined the movement for equality and fair treatment, new generations became involved, schools of thought progressed, things began to change over time with lots of boots to the ground fighting for progression. In an effort to teach the world we are not the horrible creatures ‘Old Society’ made Us out to be We began to define things, make things clear to folks.

Over time, scholars of the LGBT lifestyles were born, they were the elders from and on the front lines who taught those of Us behind them about who and what we are.

Language changed, ‘clearly’ defined labels for each set of sexual behaviors were laid out for society¬†to understand.

People were beginning to be labeled because they needed to be & wanted to be. We wanted to understand ourselves so we put ourselves into boxes that looked like what we felt like on the inside and sometimes that box would change for some. Sometimes they stay in one box.

In today’s climate defining who/what you are/labeling yourself is still as difficult as it was in the 90’s when an definition other than heterosexual was unacceptable. Now there’s so many labels how do I know which one fits me?

Why do I need a label? Why do I have to wear a title?

What if it’s all not that clear cut and easy for me?

Good question…why do you?

I’m not ‘The Powers That Be’ in LGBTQAI politics nor am I a major decision maker in policy for the National LGBTQAI Community.

I do know that labels are given importance in ways I’m not necessarily comfortable with.

What Gender Queer means to me, may mean Bisexual Tomboy to you, but Bisexual Tomboy may mean TransMale to someone else.

Huh you say again!?!?!

It’s all a bit much right?

Many of the visitors here are folks searching for others like themselves. Defining themselves, questioning themselves.

It’s hard to decide what box to get into. Sometimes labels make it harder.

Saying ‘ I’m Bisexual’ can be a loaded statement. What kind of bisexual?

IS IT FINALLY OKAY TO BE BISEXUAL TOO since society has ‘progressed’ so much?

Can we say that out loud without fear of prejudice, discrimination and violence as mothers, teachers, husband’s, wives, role models in today’s society…finally? Are GenderQueer, Queer, Pansexual, Fluid more acceptable labels/boxes than Bisexual and why? What’s the difference between all those and don’t they all mean the same thing?¬†

Uuuugh! So many questions!

BUT, there is a movement of people who work tirelessly to help figure out all this confusion within Us.

They are the tireless Advocates, the front liners, the behind the scenes folks that work hard to create diversity in labeling to bring clarity to those who may not understand who We are or who They are in themselves.

These Advocates helped build the society We live in today.

In a society filled with all kinds of so called ways to ‘fit in’ labels are another way of identifying who we are and where we belong-as is human/animal nature.

For the record LGBTQAI stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Asexual/Ally (heterosexual supporter) and Intersex (Someone who’s reproductive organs/sex organs are not categorized as exclusively male or exclusively female.).

So what does that mean to those of Us who don’t wave rainbow flags and show off who and what we are…?

What does all of this mean to those of Us who are still unsure of what box we fit into if any?

What does this stuff mean for those of Us who lead ‘straight’ lives and don’t feel we fit into ANY box?

What does all of this mean to those of Us who could care less about all this stuff?

I’m still trying to figure that out. (I am a flag waving Out Loud & Proud kinda chick…but most of you aren’t…)

 

Can you tell me how society’s progression has helped you feel more clarity surrounding your own life?¬†

Do you feel it’s okay to BE BISEXUAL and a human in a long term relationship in today’s society?

PLEASE COMMENT BELOW, I’D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR FEEDBACK!

-Jay Dee, Founder

We’re Entering A New Season

Again I’d like to take the opportunity to invite readers and visitors to volunteer for Living Bi so we can keep this space running. My life has become a bit cumbersome and I can’t do everything that needs to be done with the small staff we have. We need more folks on board to help keep this space running and growing.

We have a ton of opportunities available, mostly remote, to be done in your own time.

Here’s what we need:

  • Contributing Authors (for all tabs)
  • Content Contributors (for all tabs)
  • Moderator (approve comments daily)
  • Welcome Contributors (welcome new visitors)
  • Social Media Manager (G+, Twitter, FB, Pinterest)
  • Editor
  • Videographer/Photographer (for events, must be local NYC)
  • Support group facilitator (Brooklyn, NY)
  • ALL LIVINGBI/BIWIFELIFE READERS to¬†CONSIDER showing up & turning up for the NYC Pride March in June. If you’d like more information stay tuned. This year may be our first year marching with Our own banner! It would be awesome to have you alongside Us ūüôā

If you are interested in any of the open volunteer positions send an email to biwifelife@gmail.com with which position you’re interested in, what you can contribute and why you’d like to contribute. We’ll go from there. ūüôā

Help us keep our content fresh, relevant and supportive. It’s readers like YOU who power this space. Even one day a week, one contribution every two weeks, volunteering once a month can make a difference in how this space shows up and supports people.

Think about it, talk to your partner/s about it, matter of fact, both/all of you can volunteer ūüôā

-Jay Dee, Founder

New Year, New ______?

I think that’s what at the forefront of everyone’s minds the first couple weeks of January, what is this year going to be like?

This year is going be whatever you make it.

ūüėÄ

Life has it’s unexpected happenings but for whatever we aren’t in control of, we are in control of our own choices and decisions as well as how we react to the situations we encounter through the year.

I’m no peaceful guru. I go through stuff. I stress, although I work hard not to. This year I’m making an even more conscious effort to eliminate stress¬†out of my life but how practical is that really?

I birthed 5 children who are all ages 15-22 at present. My two oldest are engaged, one just gave birth about 3 weeks ago, the other is due any day. They are not fully self sufficient. Each kid has their own set of young adult issues I have to deal with. My husband and I work our asses off to live in the Greatest City in the World but never seem to have time or expendable money for ourselves. The cost of living is astronomical here.

Add being a bisexual married woman to the equation things can be a bit overwhelming. When do I have time for me? For the things I want? Being an involved mother, a dedicated wife, a Community Advocate I’m always living in a world of selfless actions that leave me weary and worn out with no time or energy for myself.

Last month of 2016 I announced to my older children I’m cutting the umbilical cord and going back to focusing on myself, my marriage, our goals, minimizing my stress and being more accountable to myself for myself. They understand this is another phase of growing up and we are working very closely with them toward complete independence. Whew! That’s one huge stressor down…and we’ll be working the first few months of 2016 to ease out other stressors.

2016 is all about peace, prosperity, love, happiness and balance for us. Balance…

That’s what it’s all about. Balancing Our wants and desires with those of our loved ones, balancing Our career with home, work from play.

Our spouse and lover…or your desire for a lover.

Balance. That’s the theme for 2016. Balance. Life IS one big ole balancing act.

Happy New Year! Looking forward to spending 2016 with you all! ūüôā ūüôā

-Jay Dee, Founder

 

Personal Identity, Labels & Relationships

As of late I have been supporting youth in my personal life with a wide diversity of bisexuality.

I decided to share some of these complex relationship situations because it’s always ABSOLUTELY AMAZING to me the many varying possibilities for bisexuality/bicurious/bierotic/pansexual/queer expressionism/etc.

One is ultra feminine, dates young men and secretly has “best friends” that are just as feminine. She considers herself straight…outwardly. She has a baby, is engaged and living with a male.

The other¬†has a masculine presentation, identifies as a Lesbian, not trans, and dated other women with masculine presentation most of her life. Most of her life she’s spent dispelling the label Trans because of her Androgynous appearance. She is currently pregnant, living with and engaged to a cis gender male after¬†being secretly involved for the past few years.

The third is a young male who identifies as gay, is very masculine but has feminine tendencies. He has a daughter and has dated girls in the past. He works hard to hide his sexuality from those who don’t know him. He is in a long term relationship with a male but lives with a Lesbian identified roommate folks suspect is more than a roommate.

In each of these situations ‘bisexual’ is a bad word. Not because they don’t ‘feel’ bisexual but because in the worlds they live in, it’s not okay to BE bisexual.

The ‘Lesbian’ was petrified of social crucifixion when she ‘came out’ with her ‘hetero’ relationship. She was pressured to change her gender presentation by her fiance, struggles with self identity, and tends to be generally unhappy in her long term relationship with a male. She’s ‘not herself’ since her transition out of her ‘Lesbian’ lifestyle, despite being ‘happy’, ‘in love’ and building a family with the opposite gender, living the life she was ‘expected’ to lead. She’s grown away from most of her ‘friends’, doesn’t have much of a social life anymore and is normally ‘bored’ where she was once very socially active.

The Ultra Feminine Mom wouldn’t dare openly admit her sexuality, even in the face of those who know her sexuality, and her female partners. It’s a secret until the secret has been exposed time and time again, then reluctantly but with surety she will selectively admit she’s bisexual to the persistent inquirer. She hides her sexuality, guarded under the guise of privacy…but bisexual must be a bad word in her world if she can’t say it to even those who know.

Last but not least is a tricky situation. The Young Male is bisexual. He knows he’s bisexual, will admit with a bit of questioning he is bisexual but he cringes at the thought of calling himself anything other than gay. He has had relationships with females, he has a child. He’s also in a long term committed relationship with a male, has lived with his ‘Lesbian’ roommate for a few years as well. In ¬†his world bisexual is a bad word too. He can’t be bisexual, he’s gay…but he lusts for women and wouldn’t mind ‘a taste every now and then.’

Now, for myself. I am married to a cis gender male am a mother of 5 biological children. From age 13-18 I wore primarily masculine presentation, from 18-29 I was on a spiritual journey. From 29-present I wear primarily feminine clothing and some days I feel trapped in a gender presentation that is just not me, but is required of me due to my position in life. I generally prefer females but due to religious beliefs I chose to marry a man. I have been engaged to 2 females in my past. I am still madly in love with a woman I can’t have after 6 years of her in my heart, only 1 in my life, but that’s another story. Most days I feel masculine but I wear feminine clothing. I feel like I should have been born a male; but I am a very feminine woman grateful to have been born an attractive cis gender female.

My husband is a balance of masculine and feminine equally which is why he’s my husband. ūüôā He’s that perfect blend. My mother says I’m a repressed Lesbian trapped into heterosexual life due to religious beliefs. After much introspection I tend to believe she’s partially¬†correct…but not wholly because I still love intimacy & even relationships with men. If I didn’t have such strong religious beliefs¬†I’d be married to a woman with a male lover in my life most likely. I’m bisexual, not a Lesbian.

I have no social life due to the demands of family. I’d love to have female friends to hang out with, a girlfriend to have more with…I have no social life because hetero wives and mothers couldn’t understand my sexual identity as bisexual but married to a man, or my masculine gender presentation on some days. Lesbians don’t welcome bisexual women at all in the community I know. Bisexual wives and mothers are hard to find.

In all these cases that are very close to home I observe just how being bisexual can be so complex, especially to those who’s lives revolve around one particular identity. Despite what one feels inside it’s like society dictates what is okay and what is not okay to be. Where we belong is contingent upon what we identify as which can grow and change at times causing our lives to change in ways we may not necessarily want for ourselves.

All of us wish we could have our ideal lives. All of us wish being bisexual was easier, wish we could be ourselves, but for so many reasons we feel like we can’t be, it’s not okay to be, it’s not possible to be…true to ourselves.

-Jay Dee, Founder

 

 

 

 

 

Coming Out at Thanksgiving?

Tomorrow’s Turkey Day. Families all across these United States are gathering over family dinner. Many family members are gathering with other family members they haven’t seen all year.

Some of you will be going home for the holiday.

Some of you will be hosting the holiday at your home.

Others will be visiting a variety of family and friends, aka house hopping.

Some of you don’t celebrate this ‘holiday’.

For those of you who don’t, this article is not for you.¬†

This article is for those of you who do attend family gatherings this week.

I’ve heard so many Coming Out horror stories surrounding Thanksgiving.

“This year I¬†told my¬†family at Thanksgiving¬†I’m bi.” Every time I hear that statement I always think the same thing, how did that even sound like a good idea? Then the inevitable horror story follows. I’ve also heard absolutely hilarious and awesomely supportive stories. There’s a few ways Coming Out to family and friends can go no matter what time of year.

Here’s 10¬†questions I encourage anyone to consider and ask themselves before Coming Out at Thanksgiving Dinner.

  1. Why Thanksgiving Dinner? Folks are about to eat, eating, or just ate. Is Thanksgiving really an appropriate place and time for your family to discuss your sexuality?
  2. Am I being self centered by subjecting everyone to my sexual life at a family gathering?
  3. Will this be a difficult or easy going conversation?
  4. Will my spouse/partner be there? How will my husband/wife/partner feel sitting by my side as I Come Out?
  5. Do I really want to shift the focus off of family togetherness and gratuity for our blessings to my sexuality and sexual preference through the holiday?
  6. Why the reveal in the first place?  Is this burning desire to tell your family going to change your life in any meaningful way if you do tell everyone in attendance what you do in your private life?
  7. Why everyone at once? Does Grandma & extended family really need to know what you do at home behind closed doors? Is your sexuality really relevant to everyone at the dinner table? Can you tell those who you feel need to know individually?
  8. How will my sexuality reveal effect every single person? Seriously, consider how will folks take the news. How can/will the reveal of your reality affect others lives if at all?
  9. Will my reveal make me feel any better once done?
  10. Will children be in attendance and if so do I want them to  hear adult conversation?

I personally don’t celebrate this holiday in the traditional manner-my immediate family does not¬†do yearly family gatherings for this holiday. I also do not have family/relatives that do not know about my sexuality. Those relatives who do not know about my sexuality are folks I don’t gather with and don’t know me personally.

If one has broke bread with me & is someone I consider family-they know about my sexuality already.

I encourage those of you who do not have family that is aware of your sexuality to  really ponder Thanksgiving as a time to Come Out.

One sentence can change your life, for the better or for worse.

-Jay Dee, Founder

Meet Other Living Bi Readers-In Real Time?

We’ve gotten a lot of suggestions via email and through comments.

I, myself and others have done research to provide this growing community with an option to communicate with each other in real time.

Unfortunately the best options I’ve found to date are monthly paid sites. I’ve also found a few free options but those options limit users. Paid options will allow for more users to communicate in real time.

Paid sites would require the implementation of a “Donate Here” button and it will be up to¬†the readers, the commenters, the members of this site to power our new communication ¬†platform.

It’s totally outside the boundaries of the Contributors personal budgets to fund paid services for Living Bi. We’ve rolled many ideas around and it’s just not something we can do financially without contributions from readers like you.

This is a site totally powered by the readers. Help us choose.

Vote or comment below to help us figure out the best option to fit this online communities needs.

Thanks for stopping Bi!

-Jay Dee, Founder