Pride?

I’m sure we’ve all heard the old saying ‘Pride is a sin’.

Over the years Gay Pride has become a hugely celebrated holiday in the US.

For those of us who are in hetero appearing relationships this time of year can be ultimately conflicting.

Especially for those of Us who are not ‘out’ to family and friends.

It’s a time when the country is talking about the Gay community a bit more than usual.

For those of us with Bi Invisibility those conversations can be VERY uncomfortable.

I cannot count how many times my husband and I have been around conversations concerning homosexuality and bisexuality where abrasive, homophobic words and thoughts were said.

It’s easy to get fired up and ‘come out’ by ‘accident’ in a heated conversation this time of year.

It’s a time many of Us choose to come out to loved ones around PRIDE.

Many bisexual humans involved in hereto appearing long term relationships don’t feel PRIDE has anything at all to do with Our lives.

I personally wish We had more visibility, more awareness, less stigma, more respect for the fact we do exist.

Despite my husband’s birthday falling on NYC PRIDE every year he has again selflessly decided to walk again in this year’s NYC PRIDE march in solidarity with all the BiHusbands of our City.

For now we will be the faces of you all who are still behind the walls of Bi Invisibility but We invite you all to march with us this and every year.

One of these years we’ll be on vacation somewhere privately celebrating his birthday, that year we hope to see you all representing while we’re away.

So far we’ve yet to break the walls that hide Us because it is you the readers who are crippled by societal stigma and fear, preventing Us from doing so.

You have not emailed us, you have not shown up, shown out or volunteered.

So many of you are still so deeply hidden. 😦

Our cause is not to shine a light on each of you personally but a light on Us as a whole within the LGBTQAI Community.

We do hope this year you’ll consider meeting Us in Manhattan tomorrow to march with Our signs, behind the Brooklyn Community Pride Center banner.

If not my hope in writing this article is to get you all to thinking about your own Bi Invisibility and how it hurts/helps your life & others who are still hiding in the shadows of stigma and societal perceptions.

I know my life is hurt because I am invisible and the girl of my dreams can’t see me…

Therefore I march for Our visibility.

-Jay Dee, Founder, LivingBi/BiWifeLife

In The Meantime, In The Background…

Well, I’ve been out of sight for a while but trust me, BiWifeLife is all that’s been on my mind through the month of June. It’s PRIDE month!!!

I’ve been working very hard in the background, doing ground work to get Our name out there and bring visibility to Us as a community.

We are a community.

A community of wives and husbands, fiances, girlfriends and boyfriends who all deal with the same issue- a bisexual mate.

With the wonderful addition of KDaddy we are able to view the perspective of a husband married to a bisexual woman. We are able to cater to husbands questions, concerns, etc through a man’s eyes. I’m working to expand that concept.

BiWifeLife has partnered with The Brooklyn Community PRIDE Center in Brooklyn, New York to throw the first Bisexual Social Mixer in the center’s history on July 1, 2015 at 7pm.

BiWifeLife Social Mixer July 12015

IF our turn out is good we’ll begin a Bi gathering Bi weekly right here in Brooklyn, NYC.

Now, we know there are other bi gatherings  here in the city, maybe even in Brooklyn BUT this is a social gathering sponsored by BiWifeLife, a place for married bisexual women.

My husband will be co-facilitating the mixers/groups right alongside me.

I do have hopes of expanding our resource to Bisexual married men, I am arranging meetings with other orgs in the coming week or so to do just that.

Just yesterday I was at the Mayor’s Pride Reception where the Mayor of NYC and his wife gave awesome speeches and reminded everyone this city flies rainbow flags too, not just the American Flag. There I connected with many great people in many great circles who not only loved the concept of BiWifeLife but had many contacts and resources who would be interested in Our cause. BiWife Visibility. We are invisible.

As I explained to someone earlier when my husband and I attend PRIDE events sometimes we get sneers and ugly looks upon entering the room…that is until I pull out my BiWifeLife business card and all of a sudden I now am beyond welcomed. Bisexual married women AND men are invisible. Even more invisible than the much overlooked B in the LGBT. It truly pains me there aren’t more resources for Us. I’m working hard to partner/collaborate/join forces with other Bi organizations and resources to let women around the world know We are here.

Being it’s PRIDE month there are many more organizations out and about, mixing, socializing, gathering, marching, etc. Last year we attended the Transcending Boundaries Conference where we let other organizations know for the first time that We, BiWifeLife exsists. This year my husband and I will be doing a workshop on “Disclosing and Managing Bisexuality in Marriage or an LTR” at that very same conference.

We (my husband, family and I) all partake in promoting BiWifeLife to get the word out there is a place for Bisexual Married women, soon Bisexual Married Men as well.

We face a unique set of issues only We can understand. No one wears our shoes but Us.

I hope to have BiWifeLife Gear, mugs, keychains, pens, mousepads, events, retreats, etc…but again I’m like a one woman show.

I can’t keep doing it all alone.

We are a community.

If YOU would like to be involved we are in need of:

1. Social Media Moderator

2. Blog Editor

3. Contributing Writers

4. Techies to manage other platforms

This blog is powered by YOU, the readers and commenters, the ones who engage in dialog and keep things interesting here.

I’d like to thank you all for being with Us thus far!!!

Drop a line to biwifelife@gmail.com if you’re interested in volunteering.

-Jay Dee, Founder