…don’t lose your mind over it. Chances are good that if she’s bisexual, it ain’t about you… unless, of course, you’re not handling, uh, certain business behind closed doors (but I’m not gonna go there yet).
I’m here today to tell you to not buy into the stereotype and gross misconception that if she’s bisexual, that means she wants to have a threesome or some other sexual encounter that’s gonna raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels. It doesn’t mean that she’d rather be with a woman than to be with you because, duh, if that was the case, she wouldn’t be with you, would she?
Just as she has had to learn how to accept her sexuality, you have to learn how to accept it as well. Forget any prejudices or biases you have about homosexuality because they don’t exactly apply to her. Don’t start belittling her because she has a thing for women and don’t screw the pooch and accuse her of cheating on you. If she was bisexual before you met her, well, dude, in order for you to be with her, you kinda agreed to accept everything about her, not just the parts you like and, oh, yeah, if you think you didn’t agree to this, guess again.
If she finds that she’s bisexual after you hooked up with her, it’ll do you some good to understand that people change and they change for reasons that might not make sense to you… but this ain’t about you. The smart man will ask her what he can do to support her in this; the stupid man will start pitching a bitch and saying dumb shit like, “I should be enough for you!”
Um, are you really? Ya might want to rethink that bit of arrogance on your part. Here’s a cold slap in the face for you: If she needs the touch of another woman, uh, you’re not a woman; you’re not equipped or even qualified to take care of that particular need and while she very well may love having you hammer her whenever you get to do that, nope, you’re not enough for her.
Don’t just assume that she wants to actually go out and do something about her bisexuality; a lot of bisexual women are content to know that they’re bisexual and will give up any chances to get with another woman in favor of being with you. Don’t go on a rant about your feelings – that’s not gonna help and all you’re gonna do is make her unhappy and, well, you probably already know what she’s like when she’s not a happy camper so if you feel the need to go there, you must be a glutton for punishment. Jumping in her case and being all “Me Tarzan, you Jane!” and waving your dick around just isn’t going to help you, your lady, or your relationship with her and more so if you really do love her.
The smart man will realize that if girlfriend is bisexual, that gives you two something else in common; the stupid man won’t be able to see past his own thinking about such things, will fail to see the commonality, and will be thinking only about his own selfish needs… so this guy – and I hope that you’re not that guy – seriously needs to grow up, get his head out of his ass, and accept the fact that your woman has to be the person she wants to be and not the person you think or want them to be (or think they should be).
And if you don’t know the differences here, make an appointment with me and I’ll explain it to you…
Should you feel the need to go all Old Testament on her, you’re going to plant a seed of resentment within her (not a good thing) that might one day come back to bite most of your ass off. And, really, any negative reaction to her sexuality just isn’t going to be a good thing for either of you so, if you ask me (and you probably didn’t), the best thing for you, her, and your relationship is to just accept that she’s bisexual.
Yeah, sure, you can ask her what this is all about and if you’re lucky (read this as she doesn’t think you’re gonna be an asshole about it), she will explain her sexuality to you… and you’d damned sure better listen. Yep, you can ask her, “What does this mean for us?” but don’t you dare ask her, “What about me?”
Her sexuality ain’t about you, dude, well, not certain parts of it anyway. You can ask her how she came to feel this way and, again, you should listen very carefully and with your mind as wide-open as you can get it. It’s not gonna be easy to listen to and more so if you have it in your head that you could never be bisexual – just remember that this ain’t about what you think about bisexuality. Yeah, it just might offend you – and it does offend a lot of men so don’t think it’s just you; you might even have it in your head to leave her… but ask yourself why that makes any sense and more so since before you found out that she was bisexual, um, weren’t you very much in love with her?
Fellas, if your lady is bisexual, don’t freak out, get bent out of shape, or anything like that; the best thing you could do for her (and, ultimately, yourself) is to accept this part of her. She can be bisexual without breaking the bond she has with you and while you could believe the hype, don’t you think it would be better to hear it from her and believe what she’s saying about it?
Accept her; understand her; support her and, damned important, don’t stop loving her. Be the smart man and not the stupid one. Take this advice from a man who knows all too well what it’s like to have a bisexual woman at his side.
-KDaddy23, Contributing Author