We’re Entering A New Season

Again I’d like to take the opportunity to invite readers and visitors to volunteer for Living Bi so we can keep this space running. My life has become a bit cumbersome and I can’t do everything that needs to be done with the small staff we have. We need more folks on board to help keep this space running and growing.

We have a ton of opportunities available, mostly remote, to be done in your own time.

Here’s what we need:

  • Contributing Authors (for all tabs)
  • Content Contributors (for all tabs)
  • Moderator (approve comments daily)
  • Welcome Contributors (welcome new visitors)
  • Social Media Manager (G+, Twitter, FB, Pinterest)
  • Editor
  • Videographer/Photographer (for events, must be local NYC)
  • Support group facilitator (Brooklyn, NY)
  • ALL LIVINGBI/BIWIFELIFE READERS to CONSIDER showing up & turning up for the NYC Pride March in June. If you’d like more information stay tuned. This year may be our first year marching with Our own banner! It would be awesome to have you alongside Us 🙂

If you are interested in any of the open volunteer positions send an email to biwifelife@gmail.com with which position you’re interested in, what you can contribute and why you’d like to contribute. We’ll go from there. 🙂

Help us keep our content fresh, relevant and supportive. It’s readers like YOU who power this space. Even one day a week, one contribution every two weeks, volunteering once a month can make a difference in how this space shows up and supports people.

Think about it, talk to your partner/s about it, matter of fact, both/all of you can volunteer 🙂

-Jay Dee, Founder

BiWifeLife Gender Inclusion?

Well, here we are at a crossroads. After a few years we’ve grown, folks have gotten to know and love us in concept, theory and as a resource.

Thing is bisexual married men, bi boyfriends, bi trans women and so many variations of bisexual in a relationship have asked me in the past few months “Hey, can I come to BiWifeLife too?”

The only thing my heart would allow me to say is “Of course, we don’t discriminate. This is a place for anyone bisexual involved in long term relationships.” The wheels started turning in my head to find a way to accommodate everyone who wanted to be here.

Even though the name of this blog is BiWifeLife, the issue is a bit bigger than that in my mind’s eye. The truth is there are SO MANY variations of bisexual that live lives within long term relationships and many face some of the very challenges bisexual married women face on a daily basis.

Men have such a stigma surrounding male bisexuality and when involved with a woman or even married to a woman being a bi guy can be insurmountably challenging.

Truth is, from issues pertaining to coming out to managing one’s sexual desires within relationships whether male, female, trans or in between life can be challenging on so many levels as a bisexual human.

After promoting biwifelife tirelessly for a few months I had to take in all the questions I’ve been asked and begin to realize the need for equal gender inclusion here in Our space.

The question is how to do that without alienating our steady readership of BiWives, long term girlfriends and straight husbands?

Well, after much thought KDaddy and I had a wonderful conversation on how to do just that.

As a bisexual husband himself, a great BiWifeLife Contributing Writer and a pretty straight forward kind of guy I’m beyond excited to announce KDaddy and I will join forces to launch a male inclusive aspect to BiWifeLifeBlog coming in Fall of 2015.

On the ground in NYC BiWifeLife will be joining forces with FluidBiDesign/MenKind to provide support here in New York City to bisexual men and women in long term relationships.

We will also be hosting a monthly Bisexual Social Mixer with a Roundtable Discussion in New York City. Wine and refreshments provided. 🙂 *If you would like to hold a BiWifeLife social mixer in your town email biwifelife@gmail.com and we’ll go over what we need to do to make that happen 🙂 *

We fully intend to be inclusive of all genders as of this Fall including trans women and trans men on both sides of this BiLifeBlog and of course in Our ground efforts.

Essentially we would become:  “A place for bisexual people of all genders involved in long term relationships and marriages.” 

Myself and Mercedes Jet will continue to cater to the BiWives and all female identified readers, KDaddy and newly hired writers will cater to all male identified readers.

There will be changes to the About page, Staff, tabs and the look and feel of the blog, but we WILL NOT loose focus in supporting bisexual married women in the least.

We aim to support everyone who struggles with bisexuality while maintaining healthy relationships with partners, spouses and friends.

We plan to roll out the “new” blog this Fall. 

In the meantime we’d love to hear what you guys think of the coming changes and how it may change our readership and community.

Please comment below. Your input on these changes are VERY valuable.

Sincerely,

-Jay Dee, Founder

In The Meantime, In The Background…

Well, I’ve been out of sight for a while but trust me, BiWifeLife is all that’s been on my mind through the month of June. It’s PRIDE month!!!

I’ve been working very hard in the background, doing ground work to get Our name out there and bring visibility to Us as a community.

We are a community.

A community of wives and husbands, fiances, girlfriends and boyfriends who all deal with the same issue- a bisexual mate.

With the wonderful addition of KDaddy we are able to view the perspective of a husband married to a bisexual woman. We are able to cater to husbands questions, concerns, etc through a man’s eyes. I’m working to expand that concept.

BiWifeLife has partnered with The Brooklyn Community PRIDE Center in Brooklyn, New York to throw the first Bisexual Social Mixer in the center’s history on July 1, 2015 at 7pm.

BiWifeLife Social Mixer July 12015

IF our turn out is good we’ll begin a Bi gathering Bi weekly right here in Brooklyn, NYC.

Now, we know there are other bi gatherings  here in the city, maybe even in Brooklyn BUT this is a social gathering sponsored by BiWifeLife, a place for married bisexual women.

My husband will be co-facilitating the mixers/groups right alongside me.

I do have hopes of expanding our resource to Bisexual married men, I am arranging meetings with other orgs in the coming week or so to do just that.

Just yesterday I was at the Mayor’s Pride Reception where the Mayor of NYC and his wife gave awesome speeches and reminded everyone this city flies rainbow flags too, not just the American Flag. There I connected with many great people in many great circles who not only loved the concept of BiWifeLife but had many contacts and resources who would be interested in Our cause. BiWife Visibility. We are invisible.

As I explained to someone earlier when my husband and I attend PRIDE events sometimes we get sneers and ugly looks upon entering the room…that is until I pull out my BiWifeLife business card and all of a sudden I now am beyond welcomed. Bisexual married women AND men are invisible. Even more invisible than the much overlooked B in the LGBT. It truly pains me there aren’t more resources for Us. I’m working hard to partner/collaborate/join forces with other Bi organizations and resources to let women around the world know We are here.

Being it’s PRIDE month there are many more organizations out and about, mixing, socializing, gathering, marching, etc. Last year we attended the Transcending Boundaries Conference where we let other organizations know for the first time that We, BiWifeLife exsists. This year my husband and I will be doing a workshop on “Disclosing and Managing Bisexuality in Marriage or an LTR” at that very same conference.

We (my husband, family and I) all partake in promoting BiWifeLife to get the word out there is a place for Bisexual Married women, soon Bisexual Married Men as well.

We face a unique set of issues only We can understand. No one wears our shoes but Us.

I hope to have BiWifeLife Gear, mugs, keychains, pens, mousepads, events, retreats, etc…but again I’m like a one woman show.

I can’t keep doing it all alone.

We are a community.

If YOU would like to be involved we are in need of:

1. Social Media Moderator

2. Blog Editor

3. Contributing Writers

4. Techies to manage other platforms

This blog is powered by YOU, the readers and commenters, the ones who engage in dialog and keep things interesting here.

I’d like to thank you all for being with Us thus far!!!

Drop a line to biwifelife@gmail.com if you’re interested in volunteering.

-Jay Dee, Founder

“Bi, Hung, Fit… and Married” is coming to New York City!

“Bi, Hung, Fit…and Married” is a play by Mark Cohen that tours around North America.  Please visit this website for more information on tour dates (http://www.bihungfit.ca).  His play is really entertaining and informative.  You can also check out youtube for a free trailer of his play at:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJcgG9sAIf4

Also, check out Mark’s website to learn more about his story, as well as for resources and workshops on being married and bisexual.  His website is: http://www.markbentleycohen.com/bi-hung-fit-and-married-the-fringe-show/.

He also wrote a book entitled “Confessions of a Bisexual Husband” that is a good read.  Mark is a pioneer and therapist in the Bisexual Community and much can be learned from his leading example.

I’ve seen him perform this play at LGBTQQIA etc. conferences and I am very so grateful for his honesty and courage to give a voice for so many of us.

Happy viewing:)

-Mercedes Jet, Contributing Author

Full Circle

When I first sat down and Google’d bisexual married woman/women and I got all these porn results I was stuck.

I couldn’t believe there weren’t like organization websites or something of that nature that was specifically for bisexual married women. I kept searching, used the keywords every which way you could flip and mix em and all I found were a few blog posts, thoughts spilled online by other suffering women.

No supportive websites or organizations.

My husband and I registered on Bisexual.com when we first decided to move ahead with finding others to bring into our marriage. It was a joke and a waste of time.

We went on all these other sites that were just plain gross and not a good experience.

I resorted to local Craigslist and I met a few women.Some didn’t fit, some were intimidating, others were plain scary.

I couldn’t find a group besides NYBAN’s BiRequest here in my city and I found that there weren’t many married bisexual women there.

I felt alone.

I felt like maybe I was an alien or some sexual freak.

I knew otherwise though.

I knew there were bisexual women just like me out there.

Bisexual, married women.

Married to a man or a woman, but married. Honest, real, maybe struggling with some feelings and looking for a place to belong.

I knew there were husband’s out there that just couldn’t understand & husband’s who did understand and stood by their BiWife.

I know this is more than a sexual itch.

This is me, in the deepest sense.

I love my husband. I also love women. I can’t change that, no matter what.

I knew I couldn’t be alone.

I can say since our inception I’ve read countless posts with so many varying situations. I didn’t know what to say to some posts and it was readers, husband’s like my own, wives like myself who offered up support. I had no idea what to do with this blog, which direction to take it and it was so confused sometimes when I first started out.

I have cried over and over again as I logged in and read comments awaiting moderation.

Tears of joy, tears of empathy, confusion and frustration.

Ours is a delicate topic with the balance of our marriages, families and life as we know it all on the line.

Some situations really make me sad, others make me so happy to hear.

In the end I can say this blog has come full circle.

In recent weeks there have been posts coming across these pages that make my heart smile.

Marriages all over have been benefiting from my words, your words, Our words.

Husbands who can now understand their biwife’s feelings, thoughts and emotions. Wives that can finally open up with a resource behind them to show their husbands as they explain how they feel.

Through these pages some marriages have become more open to communication and the list of positives go on.

Not every talk goes well, but the thing is, husbands and wives are talking about it now!

There is a place to reference the facts of this life of ours.

I love love.

I love the idea of being married for 50 years until death claims one and the other dies of heart ache within hours or days.

I guess I’m a little girl at heart. The same little girl that fantasized about princes and princesses….both coming to rescue me and dance in the woods to the tune of the three of us forever.

I know I’m not the only one who had these dreams. I now know for sure.

I know because I’ve read your words, the words of your husbands, and I’ve witnessed souls bared as my own within these pages.

Seems we’ve come full circle.

The goal has been achieved.

I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT marriages have been helped, saved & renewed through these pages.

I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT women have found a place to turn to each other, husbands have a place to turn to too.

We now have a place of our own that is working and serving our kind.

Again, I cry tears of joy. (I’m such a damn emotional creature!)

My deepest and sincerest thanks to all BiWives, BiWife Husband’s and BiWife Supporters for making this site possible and a true dream come true for me and so many other people out there online.

-Jay Dee, Founder

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ADMIN ANNOUNCEMENT: New Facebook Group is NOW OPEN!!!

The Facebook Group is for readers/followers of BiWifeLife & The BiWives Club on WordPress.

The group is SECRET and by invitation only.

Add me on Facebook. Although it appears to be a personal page this is the page I’ve created for all BiWives & their Supporters to connect with each other. Introduce yourself on my wall  Tell us a bit about you, who you are, where your from, etc. Please limit your introduction to no more than 150 words. I will delete full stories. Sorry. A Synopsis will do.

After some time and participation on your part you will receive an invite to BiWifeLife & The BiWives Club Secret Group on Facebook. I do reserve the right to be selective for the safety of the community as a whole. Not everyone is kind and supportive, not everyone has the same agenda. I don’t want any ugliness in the Group therefore participation and time will tell if membership is right for you. 

To have your full story featured on BiWifeLife: Send a picture along with your story for consideration to biwifelife@gmail.com. BiWifeLife is promoting TRANSPARENCY. It’s time we are heard, our issues faced.

If you can share here, you can connect there. Don’t be shy. Comment on each other’s introductions, ask questions, FACEBOOK IS YOUR ‘FORUM’ for discussion on topics you read here on WordPress.

DON’T FORGET: If you are using a name other than the one you use here on Facebook, inbox me your name here and the words that best describe you: BiWife, BiHusband, BiSupporter, BiWife Kid, etc., this way I know where the friend request is coming from.

Thanks guys and this is one step further in establishing a community of BiWife connections.

This September we will be holding our first BiWives Club ground meetings in New York City and Washington, DC.

If YOU would like to become a volunteer Chapter Leader of BiWifeLife & The BiWives Club email biwifelife@gmail.com.

-Jay Dee, Founder

 

NEWS: ADMIN ANNOUNCEMENT-NEW FB PAGE!!!

For those of you who don’t know our Facebook struggle here it is briefly.

I opened a BiWifeLife Organization page on Facbook, a like page essentially.

I tried to open a group within Our ‘Like’ page only to find out that is not possible.

After building numbers on Our ‘Like’ page ultimately the page had to come down.

Facebook doesn’t allow groups to be made within an Organization page, only personal pages.

After waiting 2 weeks for Our original ‘Like’ page to be deactivated I’ve opened a new personal Facebook Account.

I tried to open a group after establishing the new account only to find, I’ve got to have friends to invite to the

group in order to start the group! 

BiWifeLife & The BiWives Club will be a Closed Group.

I need all of Our readers who would like to participate in the BiWifeLife Facebook Group to please add me as a friend on Facebook HERE. This is a PERSONAL ACCOUNT.

From my ‘friends’ list you will ADDED TO THE CLOSED GROUP once I receive enough ‘friends’ to open a group.

I need at least 10 friends to create the group!!!

Add me NOW so I can post the link to OUR NEW FB GROUP!!!

After you send a friend request send me a message with the word: BiWife, BiWife Husband, BiWife Fiance, Engaged BiWife, BiWife Supporter, BiWife Familly Member, whichever word best describes your place in a BiWife Life. (This way I’ll know the request came from a BiWifeLife reader.)

I will add you as a friend and once I get enough ‘friends’ I’ll send you an invite to the group.

It’s a lot I know but it’s the way Facebook is set up.

It’s not a perfect platform. 😦 

The effort to establish a group is to service the readers who regularly communicate with each other and to those who may wish to reach out to particular readers

Support our growth.

Add me so you can comment, connect, suggest here then head on over to FB to converse!

Thanks and look forward to talking to you guys in Facebook!

-Jay Dee, Founder