I Don’t Know What to Tell You

I very much dislike saying this.  I am all for women embracing their bisexuality but the way we’ve always looked at love, sex, and relationships just makes it so very hard for women to do this.  Even single bisexual women tend to run into a brick wall when it comes to being able to fully express themselves in this way without a lot of childish and nasty things being said about them because they’re not “strickly dickly” and like they’re supposed to be.

You have what it means to be in a relationship – monogamy and faithfulness – and the worst thing for any bisexual is to be in a relationship with someone who, ah, doesn’t look kindly at anything that isn’t boy/girl and, again, like it’s supposed to be.  And it just sucks to willfully put yourself into a situation that isn’t going to allow you to be the woman you want and need to be.  I mean, things are slowly changing in this regard as more and more couples with a resident bisexual are seeing the necessity to take a step away from the way conventional relationships have been rigidly mandated to be and, from a man’s point of view, there is nothing worse than living with a woman who needs the touch of another woman… and she can’t get it.

Yeah, talk about hell not having much in the way of fury…

As a bisexual man who supports bisexual women, jeez, I really dislike running stuff through my head and coming to the very sad conclusion that, for many bisexual women, I just don’t know what to tell you other than do what you gotta do.  Until our society decides to grow the hell up and be more accepting and receptive to bisexuality – and we get off our asses and make a push to redefine what it means to be in a relationship, I realize that many of you have little in the way of choices and it pains me so very much to know there are bisexual women out there who aren’t being allowed to be bisexual…

Even when the general consensus is that, ah, bisexual women are the shit.  The mythical and elusive unicorn that makes straight women look like they don’t know squat about having sex.  We can, at a high level of thought – allow that if “Sally” wants to sleep with “Amy” – but then gives “Brad” a run for his money, well, okay – it’s just a “girl thing” – nothing to see here and nothing really unusual going on, well, not until a woman not only decides that bisexuality is the best fit for them, she makes it known that, uh, she wouldn’t object to being able to openly explore this bisexual thing.  Now she’s all kinds of sluts and whores and let’s not forget they’re some really fake bitches because they’re just saying they’re bisexual so they can get their gold-digging hooks into a man.

It sickens me to see how immature we are about all of this and more so when we like to say we’re better than that… and we really aren’t.

Okay, my lady lets me know that she loves me… but she likes women, too.  Yeah… here comes the much-dreaded and hated threesome thing and, I’m sorry, but guys can just be assholes about that.  If she tells me this and tells me how she feels, believes, and thinks that being openly bisexual is going to make her a better person – for herself and for me, too – does it make sense to tell her that she’d better not even think about that or, damn it, you can do it… as long as I get to be all up in the mix.

I don’t know what to tell you about this other than a lot of men, sadly, thinks a bisexual woman is all about them and we’re so possessive and insecure that other than the sex, the only reason why we wanna be all up in girlfriend’s bizness is so we can make sure she doesn’t leave us or, yeah, to make sure she’s not gonna enjoy being with a woman as much as she thought… because she’s supposed to be first and foremost all about the dick.

Yeah, it often shames me to be a man and be guilty by association for having this very juvenile and terribly outdated and outmoded mindset.  If you’re not going to be of a mind to let your woman be the woman she needs to be, why in the name of all that’s holy are you doing everything you can to prevent this?  Dude, ain’t it your damned job to make and keep her happy so she can be the best she can be?  And, sadly, I can “hear” a lot of guys saying, “Yeah, but…” – and here comes the very long list of reasons why girlfriend can’t be bisexual and, oh, yeah, by the way, none of the crap that’s gonna come out of his mouth has anything to do with her… because it’s all about him.

And dudes want to know why their lady will get it into her head to get her a woman anyway?  Yeah… the “Ch” word.  Not a woman’s first choice and is usually a measure of last resort and some guys are really that stupid to think that girlfriend can’t and won’t find reason to activate that measure of last resort because, you know, his cock is all she’s ever gonna want and need.  What arrogance.  An unimaginable degree of cluelessness.

I don’t know what to tell you… other than I know some stuff about this that allows me to understand your plight since, as a bisexual man, that’s been my plight at times in my life, too.  It still saddens me that even armed with all I’ve learned about this, the only and “best” thing I can say is to do what you gotta do and if there’s something you want to do bad enough, you’ll find a way to do it.  It saddens me that many of my bisexual sisters will choose to do nothing… then wind up being so terribly depressed because they can’t be who and what they need to be and because some dude said so.  And guys wonder why women tell us, time and time again, that we don’t know shit about women and what makes them tick?

Sometimes, I feel as if I’ve totally and utterly failed all of my bisexual sisters… but I snap out of it because it’s not my fault my bi sisters are trapped and “imprisoned” in a heterosexual world that, for whatever reason, ain’t really working for them all that well:  It’s our society that’s at fault; it’s that ancient and flawed crap about what relationships are supposed to be like and the only acceptable sex that is to be allowed; it’s the continuation of that stupid-assed perception that men know what women want and need better than women do and, again, all a woman really needs is a nice hard dick to take care of all her sexual needs.

And there’s not a whole lot I can do about that other than to tell all of my bisexual sisters:  Do what you gotta do and if you really need it, find a way to get it… because I do know how not getting it can mess with you in ways that ain’t even close to being good.  And I know that this sentiment might not hold water so much.  Yep – I’d give my lady my blessings if she wanted to check out other women for sexual and even emotional succor because I’d be nine kinds of an asshole to think or otherwise believe that I’m everything she’s ever gonna want and need… but unlike a lot of guys, I learned this very important lesson and I did learn it the hard way… but learn it I did.

I just do not know what else I can tell you other than to not ever give up and, again and again, do what you gotta do and if what you gotta do about this is nothing at all, I understand – and my heart and soul goes out to you.  Wow… I’m feeling kinda crappy and I do apologize for that…

KDaddy23 – Fellow Bisexual and Contributing Author

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