It’s Been a Long Time…

Hey everyone!

I know it’s been a really long time. 😦

I’ve had to take time away to focus on career and family.

So much happened at once we just couldn’t believe it!

Career opportunities came at me left and right AND 4 of my daughters were pregnant at the same time!!!

There’s been a whirlwind of engagements, breakups, births & career climbing opportunities. I even returned to college 🙂

A lot’s been going on but the dust is settling a bit…just about.

A few nights ago my husband and I had a very honest conversation about our sexual needs & identities again, for the gazillionth time.

We’re a family of all queer folks, as usual we’re super hyped, it’s Pride month!

As I write, one of our our daughters just turned 8 months pregnant, she’s 24 and has a 15 month old. They live at home with us.

I’m in summer classes from hell…and we’re avidly working on buying a home out of state by this coming Fall *fingers crossed* ❤

We are at capacity with life and there’s no leisure time, no getaway time, barely any privacy and little time to sleep.

As a result of everything going on, my BiWifeLife and hubby’s BiHusbandLife has been way blah… 😦

Hubby and I haven’t had a bi encounter in months and we’re both at a point where NSA encounters just aren’t ‘it’ for us anymore, where they once fit our needs just right.

Over the past couple years, we’ve had no time for relationships, no time for building relationships.

Although we’re at capacity with life, at this juncture we’d love to have friends we could spend time with and get away from home/work/school & kids sometimes.

Our ideal situation would be a couple like ourselves, a both bi couple. A situation where the husbands, and the wives can bond over time 😉

Unfortunately, it’s nowhere near that simple.

“At times it’s very uncomfortable for us because we’re not viewed in the light we view ourselves-married but looking, for the same gender.” 

We’re both bisexual and feel very comfortable in Queer spaces.

Problem is, we show up with this level of hetero-normalcy that makes our Queer brothers and sisters question why we’re in a Queer space.

We are a man and a woman, obviously in love and married.

We’ve discussed wearing Bi Pride gear such as tee’s, rings, necklaces or bracelets. He’s just not the kind of guy to wear Bi gear no matter how I try to convince him…so far 😉

Today we discussed maybe going out separately for the first time ever. We both have no problem attracting either gender.

The problem with going out separately is, we’re madly in love. 

We love spending as much time together as possible. We have fun with each other. We don’t want to go out alone, as if we are single people. :/

In our experience men don’t tend to want men who are married unless it’s a DL/secret thing. Women don’t want a woman that has a husband-unless he has nothing to do with the relationship.

We don’t want to have relationships OUTSIDE of our marriage. We want relationships that are a PART of our marriage, with another male, and female. Preferably an interchangeable Quad. 

It would be nice to be with someone I feel comfortable kissing, him to find someone he can try new things with.

We’re both very health conscious and we both don’t want to be inhibited by protective measures, unknown variables and potential concerns.

Of course we want to be our freest selves with our partners, as we are with each other. We’re a bit unique in we both enjoy sharing our spouse with the same sex.

Our days and nights are frequently spent talking about, looking for and trying to figure out how we can find the partners we so strongly crave.

We have yet to come across a bi couple with a bi husband and bi wife who are both looking for same sex partners.

That’s our BiWife/BiHusband struggle at this point :/ Any suggestions?

-Jay Dee, Founder


3 thoughts on “It’s Been a Long Time…

  1. I feel as though I found this site rather late! Plugging through some older blogs, and now you seem to be off line for many months at a time – I get it, kids (grand kids) will add to life’s activities, I hope you are finding the people you need to find.

    I spent a number of years looking for bi community, and if nothing else, your post lets me know few others have found it outside a small number of big cities.

    I’ll keep looking,and hope to see some future posts from you two.

  2. I’m glad you’re back! Four daughters preggo at the same time? Yikes! I see why you’ve had your hands full. I have seen bi couples that want to find other bi couples on dating sites. It’s more rare than finding what I want, which is just a bi woman for hubby and i both (he’s not bi), but I know they are out there. I am still struggling to find my perfect poly life, too. I have yet to be with a woman, and I want more than just a fling or a friend with benefits. No one wants to date you when you have young kids. Sigh…

  3. With your connections, I’m surprised you can’t find a couple willing to enter into a poly quad with you! There are some legit poly sites out there – might be a good place to start looking! Good to see you’re back as well!


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