I want to apologize for being less visible for the past year.
I’ve been reading many posts on this site and just want to say that although we are not always responding to each post, we are here to support you.
I just want to say that you are all incredibly courageous for reaching out for support. Know you are not alone and we are always here if you need anything. Coming here was a great first start.
I’d like to point all of you to some resources that I think can be amazingly helpful on your journey.
Check out http://livingfabulous.org/ and https://happybisexual.com which are amazing websites (that also contain books covering the different aspects of bi-identification, trans-identification and mixed orientation marriage.
Also, note that as far as giving advice—there is no one way to live your life. It all comes down to how you (and if applicable your partner(s) (children)) decide to navigate each step of this. It can be done though. Sacrifice is inevitably a part of any decision we make because nothing in life is perfect when it involves other people.
Please take all of the time you need. There is no rush on this. Sometimes we have to live our decisions before figuring out what we want. And sometimes after we’ve made the change, we realize, it may not be exactly what we thought.
Right now, you can take the time to just be with yourself whenever possible. Perhaps you spend it journaling (typing away on your phone or computer) or having conversations with yourself as you take a walk on your lunch hour. Perhaps you try some online therapy (yes they do that now) to get the immediate support you need in that moment. Perhaps you spend some time working out, praying, meditating, doing yoga, playing basketball, reading a bi positive book on your kindle.
Whatever you can do for you to nurture you during this uneasy time, please do it. You are the most important part of this equation called life.
Rushing to get a deep seated urge met will certainly have its short term advantages but in the long term it could prove to be very complicated and lead to distrust and the breakdown of other important life relationships (be it your partner or children). On the flip side, if you are dating right now, try to check in with yourself (and if applicable your partner and/or children) to see if things are going good at the homestead. This journey is just as much yours as it is those important to you should you be navigating it together.
I suggest googling Tara Brach and Pema Chodron for some great meditations on life and learning to be present with the now and to live within uncertainty.
I also suggest checking out a book by Mark Bentley Cohen on how he and his partner navigated polyamory. http://www.markbentleycohen.com/confessions-of-a-bisexual-husband-is-now-available/
Also check out https://sexnerdsandra.com/ for some great podcasts.