MARRIAGE EQUALITY? For Who?! Not all LGBTQ! Not for me!

Now that I’ve congratulated all my friends and acquaintances I need to let folks know I’m PISSED OFF AND FIRED UP!!!


I’m a bisexual woman assigned female at birth MARRIED to a person assigned male at birth.

I have been in long term relationships with a male assigned at birth and a female assigned at birth at the same time. Both wore my ring. He was my husband in a court of law, she was my wife…because she and I said so and we lived our lives as such.

Despite our sincerest desires my long term girlfriend and I COULD NOT marry and I still CAN NOT marry a female assigned at birth so long as I am married to my husband.

The same goes for a bisexual assigned male at birth. He cannot legally be married to a female assigned at birth and marry his long term boyfriend who was assigned male at birth and that goes or any combination of bisexual love.

We cannot marry both our male assigned at birth and female assigned at birth partners and that’s the point.
I would love to be able to take my long term girlfriend, with my husband by my side, down to the courthouse and give her the same rights as him in my life, legally.

I don’t want a side piece, an extra lover. I’d love to be able to fall in love and ask a woman to marry me, spend the rest of her life with me and give her all the legal rights she deserves, equal to my husband in a court of law.

Why is the bisexual aspect of this marriage equality discussion NOT on the table?

Don’t point out poly anything to me with regard to bisexuals having equal rights to marry! I’m not talking about bigamy, polyandry, polyamory, multiple husbands or wives.

I’m talking about the BISEXUAL EQUAL MARRIAGE RIGHTS to marry ONE CISMALE AND ONE CISFEMALE or ONE TRANSMALE AND ONE TRANSFEMALE or any combination of M/F gender identities if we so choose.

This is about the B in the LGBT not having the same marriage rights as the Lesbian, Gay, Transgender persons who can marry any cismale, cisfemale, transman or transwoman of their choosing.

What about those of us who love both, carry long term relationships with both?

BOTH of my long term relationships deserve legal validity if we are ready for that step.

UNFORTUNATELY in this country the B seems to be silent in the LGBT world of progression. We’re still in the dark corners of the flag.

What do you think? Comment, c’mon…let’s get the dialog started!

-Jay Dee, Founder

4 thoughts on “MARRIAGE EQUALITY? For Who?! Not all LGBTQ! Not for me!

  1. I hear you on this one, Jay Dee. The truth of the matter is that marriage is kind of an antiquated social construct now and some would argue should be done away with altogether (or at least the benefits of it).

    My issue with all this is also that we are far from being equal. All queer people will face the same social prejudices we did before, especially bisexual people. Hell, women have had the same legal rights as men for decades, yet we’re still seen as socially inferior. Marriage “equality” is the first battle of many.


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