My husband and I haven’t been with a woman together in a long time.
We were in a triad previously that lasted way too long and ended not too well. Before that I had a girlfriend we’d have threesomes with every now and then.
I’m incessantly & intensely craving a relationship with another woman.
This time around I don’t want her to be a mutual girlfriend but he likes it that way. It’s hard enough finding a woman that will deal with a married woman let alone a woman who’ll deal with a married woman AND her husband, i.e ‘The Unicorn’.
Just the thought of him enjoying the idea of having a relationship with another woman sometimes causes me to be distant for a multitude of feminine psychological reasons. We talk about it and sometimes that helps, other times it fuels the fire inside my already screaming bisexual mind.
We are kind of in limbo because I don’t just want sex. I can tolerate him having sex with another woman to a certain degree still.
I want to find my female other half if she’s out there. I don’t want to share his heart with another woman. He is admittedly capable of falling in love with another woman and with that I can’t deal. The triad situation is off the table from my perspective at this point.
What’s good for the goose…right?
It was once our dream to find our perfect wife, who we’d love equally who could love us both. That didn’t work out, I’ve had him to myself and I love his love. His love is so deep, so passionate, so pure. I don’t want to share that with anyone anymore. I am blessed and I don’t want to risk loosing that blessing.
We love threesomes. I don’t want just sex though. His perspective is throwing my sexuality off because not to mention now I’m insecure as hell that he could fall in love with someone we have sex with where I once wasn’t!
I don’t want to risk loosing him to another woman just because I wanted to have things my way you know? He’s too precious to me to loose to someone else. Then again if he could leave me for someone else while we’re married was he really mine, was he really ‘The One’?
See how the freight train of worry can so quickly begin in our own minds?
I usually just stop the madness inside of my own head, bring my thoughts to him and we talk it out, over and over again until a resolution is reached. We don’t leave things in the air too long but we give each other time.
Being married involves knowing things have a way of working themselves out over time with the person you love. If my husband and I keep talking about it from time to time and giving ourselves time for us to both think and really ponder this newest revelation of feelings we’ll figure it out.
We always do.
Sure things can get tense, perceptions and emotions can be misunderstood, misinterpreted and even just plain old taken the wrong way. Sometimes things can be said the wrong way. Sometimes our spouse just doesn’t like what we have to say.
Understanding is the ultimate goal and that can only be done through communication-as much as my husband sometimes hates it, lol.
He’s not a big talker, I am. Surprised? 😉
No matter the situation we’re still married and we have to consider all that entails first and foremost.
That’s what we vowed to do 🙂
-Jay Dee, Founder