One of the ‘advantages’ of being a bisexual male and with a bisexual woman is being able to learn how differently men approach bisexuality than women do and, honestly, it can be damned confusing at times. I had a hard time trying to figure out why a bi woman would want to experience another woman so badly… but when the opportunity came up, they were reluctant to pull the trigger – and then pitch a bitch about not taking the opportunity after it went away. One of the things that came to mind was that women seriously do have a very different mindset about sex and that often – and only God knows why – they want to do the nasty… but they don’t want to do it.
If you think it gets “interesting” dealing with a straight woman and her mindset about sex, dealing with a bisexual woman can sometimes make dealing with a straight woman look easy by comparison. I recall dealing with my ex about this more times than I really care to remember and asking her, “If you can do it, why won’t you just go ahead and do it?” Of course, yeah, that’s a guy’s way of looking at this situation; we generally tend to be no-nonsense about doing the deed which lends to that thing about us all being dogs and the like. Yes, things have to line up – like attraction, chemistry, or whatever checklist goes on in a person’s head about such things… but bi guys, on the whole and in my own experiences, have a much short checklist than women do.
So… I’d ask her that question even though, by now, I knew it was rhetorical just like I knew what her answer was going to be: “I don’t know…” Well, damn – why don’t you know? I can tell you that trying to figure this one out is certainly not for the weak of heart or for anyone who lacks patience and that even when you’re determined to find out why your horny, bisexual wife won’t just go ahead and get some girl stuff, you’re probably not going to find out why she’s behaving in such an illogical way. See, I can understand the bi wife who (a) hasn’t had the sex yet and (b) hasn’t had opportunity come knocking; the desire is there but there’s also a lot of conflict going on because if/when it happens, it’s gonna be extra-marital and this thought alone isn’t easy to just set aside. But if the bi wife is experienced in the ways of Sappho – Jay Dee, do you like how I’m keeping this nice and clean? – and she has her hubby’s permission to do her thing, um, what’s going on in her head that she’s so, uh, willing to let opportunities just slip by… but then be unhappy that it did?
Without offense, ladies, now you have an idea why men think you’re insane…
I learned, when talking to my ex about this, to ask very specific questions in my attempt to figure out why she wouldn’t go make herself happy when she needed to; my approach was so logical that I wound up surprising myself at how impeccable I could be… only to have her give me answers like, “I know, but…” or “Yeah, you’re right, but…”
One time, there was this girl who was dying to get into my wife’s panties – and my wife knew it because the girl went out of her way to let her desire be known. The girl even asked me why my wife was balking and after agreeing that they should go to bed with each other and all I could tell her was, “Damned if I know…” and when I asked my wife, uh, she didn’t seem to know either. The proposal was eventually taken off the table, the opportunity gone and never to return… and my wife was pissed – and that’s putting it very mildly. She was ranting and raving about not being able to get as much, um, stuff as she felt she needed and, naturally, I asked her why she let that very eager and willing girl slip through her fingers – and her answer just totally messed with my head: “I wanted to… but I didn’t want to – does that make sense?”
Uh… no, it doesn’t. See, I thought that what I was seeing was unique to my wife… but I wound up meeting other bi women and bi wives who would behave in a similar manner. Yeah, men and women are a lot more different that we can begin to comprehend… but, logically, it doesn’t make sense… does it? It had me wondering if a bi woman’s thought processes are more emotional than logical and I can only suppose that this could be what the deal is but, ah, good luck trying to figure out a woman’s emotional state because if we, as men and husbands, could figure that out, we’d be golden and happier than peas in a pod. I’ve had my wife and the others explain, in no uncertain terms, that unlike guys, things have to line up with exacting precision in order for the deed to happen and, okay, I get that because I know bi guys who make bi women look easy to get into bed and because of what it takes for him to get naked with another guy.
But if it all lines up the way a woman needs it to be and she has MMO – Motive, Means, and Opportunity – why get stuck at the gate and then be miserable because she didn’t do what she could and wanted to do? And, yes, I’m the guy who has the nerve to ask the bi women who might read this if behaving like this makes any sense. Yes, I know not all bi wives/women are like this; some of them would put a guy to shame in their pursuit of Sapphic experiences (keeping it clean, Jay Dee – keeping it clean). Yes, I understand that when a woman doesn’t have permission to proceed, sure, opportunities race by like there’s no tomorrow – and, yes, I think that sucks and not in any good way.
I just wanted to throw this out here because as husbands to you insane bisexual women, some of us really want to know the answer to this because we really don’t like seeing you miserable and over something you could have done something about…
KDaddy23, Contributing Author