The Community Has Spoken

I have heard you.

I’d like to state for the record I am NOT a WordPress guru nor am I a true techie (yet) :D.

I am a full time entrepreneur, wife, mother and student of the Health Sciences with a heavy curriculum.

This blog was created because within being all of those things I am one thing when I stand alone.

A bisexual woman.

I’m a bisexual woman who has experienced a lifetime of relationships with men and women, while single, engaged and married. I have been engaged to 3 women in my lifetime, married twice before my current marriage.

I love women. I love men.

I was a little girl that dreamed of Prince Charming & Princess Perfect.

polyamory rings

Life was not that simple in the least.

Things have gotten hairy & have been blissful.

A lot of lessons were learned along the way.

Mostly I’ve dealt with my life and lifestyle within myself trying to figure out if I was crazy for dreaming of an ideal life as a bisexual human being. Seems there is no ideal, a husband and a wife.

Just one, or the other.

Women problems, men problems, societal problems, spiritual dilemma’s, all kinds of problems arise all because I can’t love just one gender.

So, here we are.

BiWifeLife…

At present I am married to a man but still, truly bisexual. My husband is loving and supportive but my circle of friends is small due to the demands of my life.

The search for a new girlfriend since my husband and I broke up with our mutual girlfriend had me on the brink of insanity! I live in NYC, how hard could it be to find a good woman to share my life with!!!? Sheesh.

Much harder than I thought.

So I started this blog.

I wanted it to be a place not to just share my thoughts and feelings but to connect with others, hear from others who dealt with similar issues.

After 2 years and approaching 70k views I’ve watched this space grow into something that truly tugs at my heart strings. You all make me cry so often with your stories & experiences.

Those who know me know I’m super sensitive and regularly your comments have tears running down my eyes.

Even my family knows I must be checking my blog when they see the tears start, lol.

I just wish I could bless us all with the ideal marriage for our biselves!

Within hundreds of comments I tend to see one recurring comment from so many various readers- can we make this a forum of some sorts?

Ask and ye shall receive. 😀

School’s out at the end of this week. I’ve decided to take a semester off to focus on my business and this blog.

During the next few months I plan to devote A LOT of time to evolving BiWifeLife.

It’s much overdue. -_-

In the meantime keep browsing, commenting and connecting.

I hear you all and a BiWifeLife forum is one of the FIRST things I’ll be adding.

BIG HUGS TO YOU ALL!!!

May God bless you and your marriage with peace, happiness, tranquility, longevity and lots of love!!!

-Jay Dee

The Winds of Change…Tis The Season…

What I’ve found in the time BiWifeLife has been around is that many of Us who have found these pages have been experiencing challenges and changes within ourselves over a period of time regarding our self identity and sexuality.

We ended up here looking for answers, support or even a sense of just not being alone in this.

Change is constant, self evolution unavoidable, nothing and no one stays the same forever.

In marriage that’s exactly what we’re expected to do.

Stay the same.

The same as the day we met, the same as the time when we fell in love, or the times our spouses remember as ideal in their minds.

Expectation without regard to the natural process of living life, having experiences, thoughts, feelings and ingesting new information over time as a growing person.

That goes for both parties in a marriage usually.

Expectation usually is double sided and with good reason I guess but is it fair?

Our husband’s expect Us to be the same Us they fell in love with, our kids expect us to be mom, same ole mom forever, our friends expect us, our family expects us…

There’s a world of expectations on who We, as women, married women, should be.

Well damn.

That surely is a burden to carry.

All that expectation can be kinda heavy to carry around if you ever think about it.

I have found that in moments of marital discord sexual self exploration seems to come to the forefront of people’s minds in what I believe is a subconscious effort at sabotage to be free from the relationship-with justification.

Examples: Well, my husband and I just didn’t make it when I found out I was bi. He couldn’t accept me for who I found out I was, he couldn’t love the new me.

Yea, you read that right…

We as humans period can tend to conjure up our own bullshit and drama because we’re unhappy with something in a relationship. Then all of a sudden we are finally free from all the real shit that was bothering us and we can be ourselves without limitation as we were before a relationship because our antics caused a break up.

Most people don’t even realize they’re doing it, it’s just an all of a sudden burning desire to do something outside the norm sexually to fill a void in our relationship. Most people don’t realize that either.

All they realize is, “Oh shit, I think I’m bi.”

There’s levels to this and honestly bisexuality way deeper than a feeling.

Bisexuality is a state of sexual being. It is who you are sexually.

Just as is homosexuality, heterosexuality and lesbianism.

It’s a deep, true, burning desire for both genders sexually like I need air, water, food, rest.

Now if that’s how you feel then you evidently have a basis for your sexual feelings, thoughts and desires at this point in your life.

If it’s something that just popped into your head or came about when hubby stopped handling his biz in the bedroom next thing you know all of a sudden your female coworker became super hot to you then take a step back and evaluate.

So, BiWives I said all that to say in this season of New Year’s Resolutions, Confessions and ReCreation of Selves I implore you all to think and speak wisely before making life changing decisions. 

Be sure you have pondered all there is to ponder before moving forward with change.

The winds of change may blow but some things can create a Hurricane.

-Jay Dee, Founder

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HOT BUY – Tom Ford’s Mini Lipsticks for Holidays

Love it!

RALUCA STOICA

www.astairwaytofashion.com Lips & Boys lipsticks campaign by Tom Ford

For the Holidays Tom Ford prepared a fabulous limited collection of 50 mini lipsticks, ideal to throw in your clutch on New Year’s Eve. There are 50 shades to choose from, all caring a male’s name because “I love the idea of a lipstick with a man’s name… why stick with just one when you can have several?” – said Tom.

I’ve always loved that masculine-feminine thing,” the designer said, noting that most of his fragrances are unisex. Obviously I’m not expecting a lot of men to wear the lipsticks, but I liked the concept. I love seeing a woman in a man’s suit. Why not have a lipstick named after a man? I could be perverse — and if I were still drinking a lot I’d be perverse, but I’m now a little more tame — but…

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