Bisexuality, Pansexuality, Labels & More

For those of us who are a bit into the research aspect of our sexual identity we know there are TONS of labels out there all grasping at defining a behavior, thought or action set of a group of people’s sexuality.

I believe in a clamor to be unique there are people who must have these labels to stand out, gain attention, define who they are and the list of personal insecurities can go on.

There are other people who are die hard label whores. Of all sorts but in the sexuality aspect I mean. Their sexuality becomes their identity. They can’t ‘be’ without ‘being’ something with a title and meaning, with a circle and label attached to it.

I am not one of those people in the least. I don’t announce my sexuality to the world like “Hi, I’m Jay Dee. I’m bisexual.” For what?

Like, “Why?” is my question.

Now, if there’s a pretty lady around or if I’m in a sexual environment or at a sexuality event then my sexuality and this blog come up of course.

Outside of that I really am just me and in some ways you can see my sexuality.


I’m masculine and feminine.

I wear both gender clothing at times.

I am perceived as ‘aggressive’ even a fem stud for those who like labels.

Does that make me a lesbian and I don’t know it? Nope, did that. Nixed men, stuck to chicks only for a long time. They are just as bad as dudes if not worse!

I just say I’m my mother and father’s child thus I am a blend of both genders and that is what one plainly sees.

I would consider myself pansexual if I had to choose a label, not bisexual.

I can sexually be with a man, woman, transexual female to male or male to female easily.

It all depends on the person. I prefer those who are transitioning be passable and pre-op down below.

Well isn’t that still bisexual just with people who appear to be the opposite gender? Sheesh. Or would that be multi-sexual or omni-sexual or tri-sexual?


Why go through the labels and then scream them to the world. Sexual self expressionism is very common now. There’s no uniqueness in alternate sexualities anymore. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m a Ny’ker and nothing really shocks me. Especially when someone says “Hi, I’m so and so” and then identifies their sexual preference outside of a sexual environment. Usually I silently ask myself why did this person feel the need to tell me private sexual information and they don’t know me?

Sure there’s always going to be sociopolitical bullshit attached to anything other than the so called ‘norm’ but damned near no one is straight anymore!?

To top it off fashion as of mid 2014 has blended the gender lines to the point I can’t tell who’s straight, bi, metro, pan, gay, lesbian, who’s a boy, who’s a girl, or whatever when I walk down the block!

Sheesh, this is all so confusing if we over think it.

I’m me.

I know what I like sexually and it’s a shame I feel I have to take on, use and wear a label to attract the people I like to be around…but it’s true.

My physical appearance would indicate I am a feminine female at most times which gives the presumption I must be straight, then my wedding rings confirm it in most people’s minds.

How far from the truth is that!? Ha. Don’t let me get into appearance and presumptions. This is how BiWives are hidden, how we are so easily forgotten and very rarely, usually not even mentioned in LGBT communities.

If we label ourselves, we’re then well sorted out for the picking 😉 which is a major reason why people announce their sexualities. To find kindred spirits.

Here’s a really good article describing the difference between bisexual and pansexual.

What are your thoughts on sexuality and labels?

-Jay Dee, Founder


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