Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate!
Tis the season of family, friends, fun, drinks, prying questions and slipped confessions and games of truth.
Maybe you’ve been waiting for just the right time to ‘come out’.
Maybe this year you’ll admit you liked it when you kissed so and so in high school while playing truth or dare with old friends 😉
Maybe you’ve been pondering telling friends, family, parents, your spouse and you think NOW would be just the right time while you’ve got everyone all together.
Maybe there’s a family member who’s always bringing up awkward subjects and you have just the recipe for a truly remembered Thanksgiving Dinner this year.
I urge you to think really hard about your decision to come out, tell someone, confess if it’s been on your mind.
Words spoken cannot be taken back.
Once you ‘come out’ you can’t go ‘back in the closet’.
Here’s a few tips to keep your life and marriage in tact this season of nostalgia, family, friends, questions and confessions:
- If alcohol makes you a bit more ‘loose’ monitor your intake. Burning desires to ‘come out’ can slip out with a little too much to drink. Limiting oneself is not a bad thing but a very good thing- know your limits.
- Think carefully about the potential consequences of a surprise revelation to your family and friends-all at once.
- Your spouse deserves to know before anyone else (if he/she doesn’t know already). If it’s really that time for you to tell the family tell your spouse privately first! Discuss your sexuality with him/her before announcing to everyone else. The last person that should be surprised is your spouse.
- Ponder your burning desire and ask yourself, why now? Is this really what I want to do? Really, seriously ponder why.
- If you see trouble coming (a crush, a touchy-feely friend, a drunk relative who figured you out and is always making sly comments) go the other way! Many holiday gatherings have been destroyed in seconds with ill spoken words. Don’t get sucked into a conversation which may jeopardize your marriage and/or family.
- Remember, it’s okay to be you and if it’s time to ‘come out’ to family and friends make sure your spouse is right there holding your hand for support. Again, #3 is really important!
- Brace yourself for reactions. Imagine every kind of reaction you think you may get if you did make an announcement to the entire bunch at once.
- If selectively telling family and friends in a more intimate way be prepared with your approach, know what you’re going to say before you say it and again, refer to #7.
- Love yourself first. Remember words can hurt so #3 and #7 are reeeeealllly important. You are an awesome person, a great wife and deserve the freedom to be yourself if this is something you and your spouse have accepted for your marriage.
- Don’t allow others reactions change your perception of self. You know you, youe spouse knows you and that’s all that matters when it comes to YOUR sexuality. Again, refer to #’s 3, 7 & 9 they are reeeeeallly important. 😉
**If children are involved weigh their needs above your own and tread carefully. Confessions can be life changing for everyone involved.**
We’re all here for you through what can be trying times-the holiday season.
This is a time of familial judgements, criticisms and overall annoyance for some.
For others this is a jolly time of year. Only you know which one applies to your family gatherings 🙂
Please keep in mind, no matter what that every action will have an equal and opposite reaction.
You may not like what your spouse or other loved ones have to say about your sexuality confession this holiday.
Is now really the right time to ‘come out’?
Is Thanksgiving really the right place for such a big confession?
Always think deeply before acting, see the scene play out in your head in every variation possible, negative and positive and be absolutely positively sure ‘coming out’ is something you want to do.
Once you do, you can’t take it back.
-Jay Dee, Founder
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