Being broke & dating

When I first met my husband he spoiled me rotten.

He played the big baller role taking me to some of NY’s hottest spots, running tabs for expensive service and having the time of our lives.

I personally do not date broke men. I did that already. I ended up supporting one man for 2 years, another for 18 months and one man for almost 4/5 years on and off.

I will not date a man who cannot provide for me the way I provide for myself or better.

My husband’s professional salary is very decent and whether I work or don’t our home does not depend on it.

That being said, when I’m broke, I’m broke. When work doesn’t come, it just doesn’t come.

I work for myself and I do have dry spells from time to time.

When I think of dating a female I think of myself in the traditional masculine capacity.

Buying her flowers, taking her for a romantic stroll, dinner wherever she wants, drinks, a cab home.

In all honesty that’s not possible all the time.

I’ll never forget the night my husband, then boyfriend, told his son (who met us after an expensive date in Manhattan’s Meat Packing District) he couldn’t stop at a restaurant in my neighborhood because he was broke. They had to wait to get home to have hot dogs.

If I fell in love before then, I fell ten times more that moment.

His honesty was so real and raw.

In that moment I knew I’d be with him if he had money or not.

He tried to impress me and when the money ran out he was so honest about it.

Most women would have run away.

Hot dogs? That’s dinner because he’s broke? Oh hell no! lol

Seems women feel that way about women as well.

Work has been scarce, when money does come in I can’t afford dates, we have a family!

I’ve learned, nobody wants to date a broke person.

A few potentially awesome LTR’s have fizzled before they could truly spark because I’m just not

into spending money outside my home on things that aren’t for the betterment of myself or family.

We’re on a mission to succeed and we can’t spend money frivolously


3 thoughts on “Being broke & dating

  1. I never felt that dating should be about the size of one’s bank account or their willingness to spend large sums of money (and seriously in NYC). Most of the women I’ve dated have expected just that and if I didn’t want to drop $200-$300 (or more) to show them a good time, they weren’t happy. It got so bad that one woman told me that if I didn’t want to take her on a date that would have cost me $600+, I could forget getting the chance to have sex with her… and I asked her if she was a whore because only whores ask for monetary things in exchange for sex.

    Ooh, did she get pissed! Yeah, I know – it wasn’t a very gentlemanly thing for me to say but I’d had enough of women whose only interest was in what I could buy them and/or what I was willing to spend to gain their favor. While I never actually dated a man – unless you wanna count meeting for coffee – it was always refreshing to know that they weren’t interested in whatever money I might have had.

    If you take a woman out for dinner, you pick up the tab – this is the way I learned it. I’ve dated women who have insisted they pick up the tab for the date… but I never showed up without any money (or my American Express card) and, yes, we’d “fight” over the bill. The women I enjoyed dating the most? They were the ones who’d want to stay home and watch a movie or didn’t mind running to McDonald’s for a bite to eat or their idea of a great date was a walk in a park, taking a drive and just enjoying each other’s company.

  2. To me, dating wasn’t what I could get out of it. It was spending time with the person I wanted to be with. And I was just as happy staying home, and watching a rented video. I’ve never dated a woman, but I don’t think I’d be with someone materialistic. If she couldn’t enjoy just being together, I’d have no use for her.

    1. I dig it. I mean, some women have the same issue I did. Taking care of prior lovers and/or was taught that their love interest should be able to provide for them.
      I wish I could meet a woman who would stick it out with me during the broke times and the good times. My husband went totally broke for like a year shortly after we married. We’re married almost 5 years now and have had plenty ups and downs financially. Like you, I just enjoy being with him, whether he has money or not. I do believe in the old traditional way of man providing for his wife and children which is why money mattered at first. We both began dating with the intent to hopefully marry šŸ™‚
      I wonder do women expect the same of me?
      -Jay Dee, Founder


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