When hubby just isn’t doing it right for you anymore do you find yourself looking at females more and more?
I’m talking the sex has been too quick, too boring, infrequent and/or you’ve been doing a lot of masturbating.
Next thing you know you find yourself yearning for a woman.
The intimacy of woman/woman is way deeper than M/F intimacy.
As bisexual women we can remember the soft touches of a woman, how intense the love making was.
If you have actually laid with another woman you know how deep the intensity can be.
If you have not actually slept with another woman yet do you find yourself fantasizing more when you are not satisfied at home?
If that’s the case I want you to take a good look at yourself, your marriage and your life.
Ask yourself “Is this where I’m supposed to be because I feel like it within myself or because this is what I’m expected to be?”
I’m no home wrecker and I want to see every marriage last 50 years. Thing is, marriages can only last that long if they are really where you’re supposed to be because you feel like it within yourself.
If your marriage isn’t great and you find yourself fantasizing about a life with a woman or the sex isn’t good and you find yourself craving a woman the issue isn’t your sexuality-it’s your marriage.
In order to fix a problem you have to get to the root of it. The root being your marriage.
Here’s a few tips on how to get that spark back…
- If he’s no longer interested-make him interested. Be your sexiest naughty you! (in private, lol)
- Try to lighten the air in the marriage, a happy husband has a much higher libido.
- Take a look at yourself. Are you letting yourself go weight wise? Do you always have an attitude? Do you do things that turn him off? Take inventory and ask yourself these questions truthfully. Do you ever look like the woman he dated? If the answer is ‘No’ to any of these questions try to work on yourself-for yourself first. Know that a better you in the inside can potentially create a better marital environment all the way around. If he loves you he’ll notice.
- Make a date night, have a designated sexy fun night, have a night at home without the kids and cook a romantic dinner together for each other. Make these dates etched in stone. At least once a week if possible. If it’s not possible choose one or more dates that suit your needs but try to do them all in the same month. Keep the ball rolling until it creates sparks so to speak, lol.
- Look your best, treat him well, watch your figure (just be a healthy you, if he wants a supermodel he shoulda married one!), be kind and remember he needs to feel wanted. If he feels wanted he may want you more 😉
What if none of these suggestions work?
Then it’s time to evaluate the marriage. Consider marital counseling. Be advised I have been through marital therapy a few times and each time we found we were not compatible. This is something you have to consider this may be your reality as well. Also, consider what would you do should that be the case.
What if you are learning through inventory that it’s not you-it’s him.
Refer to the prior paragraph 🙂
What if none of this is the issue and you’re finding you’re really a Lesbian in a straight marriage?
Then it’s time for change.
Sit him down and explain your feelings in a safe place (meaning in public or with family/friends in another room for your safety. Reactions to this kind of news can potentially be explosive).
Don’t rule out marital counseling.
You might not really be lesbian but yearning something that’s missing at home that you haven’t discovered on your own.
It’s unfair to him for you to cheat. It’s also unfair for him to not know your true feelings.
You are supposed to be his other half.
Change comes from many places. Personal inventory, life inventory, marital inventory to name a few.
Change can be scary but I’ve survived 3 marriages thus far.
I know myself, I will never marry again.
The pain of a divorce/separation is intense. The change is always refreshing for me and the outcome for me has always been better than staying. When a marriage is over for me it’s because we’ve done a whole heap of communicating and found we are better off apart.
Not everyone can say the same thing.
Some find themselves jumping from the frying pan into the fire when they divorce.
Some regret the decision.
Some love it.
Life is a toss up but you do have some control.
Start with you and work your way out. Be honest, be real, be truthful.
Why not be honest and fix some things that have broken over time within yourself?
Or real enough to your life to live your life true to yourself first?
-Jay Dee, Founder