Mental Health- Clearing Your Mind

“Whether we call it prayer, meditation, or “me” time, we all need that moment in the day to clear the clutter of our thoughts, even if only for a brief moment.”

For me, there are days when 10 minutes of quiet and stillness can energize me more than sleep, food, or exercise.

I take a quick break, clear my mind, and take deep breaths. And when I return to my task, I am always amazed at how much more focused I become.

Here’s my simple, 10 minute routine to clear my thoughts and reset my mind:

  1. I find a private, quiet corner of a room and sit comfortably.
  2. I close my eyes and take deep breaths on a count of five.
  3. Breathe in…2..3..4..5. Breathe out…2..3..4..5.
  4. I then take each part of my body, from head to toe, and focus on relaxing that part of my body.
  5. Then one last cleansing breath, and I slowly open my eyes, focused and ready to tackle the world again.

What do you do when you need to take a quick mental health break?

Post your comments and suggestions;  I love to try new things!

-Stephanie Elise, Contributing Author


One thought on “Mental Health- Clearing Your Mind

  1. I am the husband of a bisexual woman and we have been married for 43 years. In that time, my wife has been with the same women and only female she has been with, other than some petting and kissing with a few others. My experience is different. First off I am not religious so I have no problem in that area. My morals are to do anything you want, as long as you do no harm to others. I had three girlfriends since I was 14 and all are bisexual. The first one, who I was engaged to after high school, left me, got married to a guy for 20 years and after her son left the roost, she divorced him and married a woman. She never could decide what she wanted when we are engaged even though I had no problem with whatever she wanted to do. My third g/f is now my wife. She was a virgin until we married and then apparently discovered that he fantasies were only about women and in particular, her long time best friend.

    My wife was weighted down by her religions and moral beliefs and the early 70’s were not very bisexual friendly. The gay/lesbian community did not accept bisexuals. According to them, if you had sex with your same gender, you were gay/lesbian. That was scary for my wife and her g/f who were married an enjoyed sex with both genders. This affected them profoundly as they never even thought about being bisexual despite having sex with each other for 38 years. In their minds, they were heterosexual and reinforced that by only having sex with me present, even to just watch. They never had sex with just each other without me in the room and were not intimate outside of the bedroom. In their minds, they were both in love with me and their sex was incidental to their sex with me. Although they enjoyed each other, sometimes more than they enjoyed me, in their minds they were doing it for my pleasure.

    I never asked and they never said anything. We just accepted our life as it was and never thought much about it. Talk about denial or confusion, I only asked my wife last year, after we moved away from our g/f, if she though of herself as bisexual. We were floundering trying to live without another woman in our lives and I wanted to find out if my wife wanted to find another. Her reply shocked me. She said that she never thought about it before. Imagine that. 38 years of having sex with her g/f in every way possible and she never thought if she was bisexual or not. Later on she said that she “guesses” she is bisexual since she enjoyed sex with her girlfriend and only fantasizes about females. Her doubts were due to the fact she only had one female lover in her life. But she also did not like her one other “test” experience with another man that I observed. She hated it and has no desire to have sex with another male, just females.

    She does not like to talk about sex so I really know little about what is going on in her mind. She certainly loves me a lot and enjoys our sex. She said that for her, everything depends on the person, not their gender. A female can be better or a man can be better. It all depends on the person she is with. She does make remarks about liking to have sex with other men and women she sees on TV so she definitely likes both genders but I still do not know why I am the only male lover in her life or why she stayed with me all these years. I know that I have something that attracts bisexual women to me. Perhaps it is my total acceptance of their sexuality and do not judge. I also can live without intercourse as I have done during most of my marriage. My wife used to enjoy it but once she found out that I was sterile, intercourse became less and less frequent and she felt it was the cause of her many female problems so we stopped about 30 years ago. Neither of us can remember when we did it last.

    Now she tells me that if I die before her, she is done with men and would live with a woman. She will never leave me while I am alive but she is done with men after me. It seems that she is now accepting of her bisexuality. From what little she says, it seems that her first preference is sex with me and another woman with sex just with me as her second preference. She does not seem to prefer sex with just a woman but rather live with a woman as they are more like her, emotional and much neater and cleaner. 🙂 We are old now and not looking. Too many wrinkles in the bedroom is not a pretty sight. We do miss our former life and only when it ended did we reflect upon it and realize how different it was. It was normal to us while we lived it. The ladies never spoke about being bisexual although I knew that they liked to look at sexy women as much as I did. As they told me, they do not know how it feels to just like one gender. The gender has nothing to do with picking a lover or life partner. They think I am weird.

    I will probably go to my grave not fully understanding my wife. She has never told anyone that she likes females. Not her sister who is close to her or any of her other girlfriends. We had a girlfriend that we shared, that was living with us about 50% of the time in her own bedroom and we hide it well. To others she was just my wife’s best friend who spent time with us. I really do not know if they thought anything further. No one said anything to us and our g/f was always welcome wherever we went.

    I feel sorry for how your ex husband treated you. I cannot imagine not allowing your wife the freedom to explore her sexuality. My wife got together with her g/f by asking her g/f to have sex with me and then joining in later. She was not even direct about her desire for her g/f and had to do it indirectly. I could tell that they were hungry for each other as I mostly just watched the first few times they were together. It was very strange though because they rarely initiated any sex between them and always wanted me to be the director or the one who asked/told them what to do with each other. To them it was not being bi or a lesbian if they were doing what a man was telling to do and they did anything I asked them and enjoyed it all. Very strange life we led but it worked and we never had a single problem, even after our g/f got married to a bisexual man. To tell the truth, I did not even realize that my three girlfriends since the age of 14 are all bisexual. I really never thought much about it or thinking it was bad. I was just happy to love someone who loved woman as much as I did. Maybe someday I will figure it out.

    Are their any other husbands on here that can tell me their stories and feelings. In some respects I feel a little something. Not insecure because I know that my wife loves me deeply because she shows me all the time. Since her g/f is not longer in our life, she does not want sex as much as she used to and what sex we do have is mostly masturbation together. That is improving though and my wife is getting a hip replacement which will allow us to attempt intercourse again. She knows that I miss it and wants to please me. My wife has orgasms very easily. In less than 3 minutes most times and can keep going, only stopping when it gets too painful to continue to have them. If that is not liking sex with me, what is? I guess the part that bothers me is that for all these years I have asked her if she had any fantasies that she wanted fulfilled and she always said no. I was never with anyone who had zero sexual fantasies. Now I know why she said that she had none. It is because all of her sexual fantasies are about women. For some reason that bothers me a little.

    Anyway, sorry to go off on a tangent but I have not told anyone about our life until last year. I held it in for so long that I have to let it out. I am happy that you finally found someone who is OK with your sexuality. My wife loved me so much that instead of dating women without me, brought her female lover into our marriage and we were a monogamous threesome or whatever it is when three people share their sex lives with each other and one of them is married to someone else who was kept out of our threesome by his choice. We did try to include our girlfriend’s husband once but while he was enjoying watching his wife make out with me, he freaked out when my wife started undressing in front of him and went to kiss him. Despite that, his wife still spent a lot of time with us and he even flew her out to Las Vegas to join us on vacation. He left his wife with us all day while he went off on his own. Never did figure him out. We met with him socially a few times and he never was jealous or mentioned that his wife was in a relationship with us. Everyone was in denial or keeping I a secret.


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