Staying Safe while Sexually Active

Here’s another difficult topic.

Sexual protection between two females.

Back in the old days it was saran wrap, before we discovered it was porous.

Then dentists offered up dental dams.

In a creative twist along came female condoms.

The trends of finger condoms and using non-lubricated condoms on tongues came and stuck (no pun intended!).

The issue with all of these methods of protection is it’s keeping us from what we crave most.

The nectar.

Yes, I said it.

Fine Dining

Why would I want to put a barrier between me and the sweetest juice of all?


Well that’s simple, disease of course!

Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to use protection with a female. I’ve tried and found it totally defeats the entire purpose and I feel completely unfulfilled. Can’t do it.

I opted to stop being a slut about things, fucking because I could, and got to know who I was sleeping with. I took my time, didn’t move fast, got to know who I was with, who she was with, who they were with, and the list goes on.  I would still be considered high risk because of the lack of protection, but I feel I make good choices in who I sleep with and who I don’t.

While talking to a variety of females, one of whom I thought was turning out to be everything I was looking for, began to tell me about her husband.

She was gorgeous, been married forever, with 10 children, and the youngest being only a few months old. I think he was 2 months old when we started talking. She’d been bi forever, he knew, was okay with it, and she had a few ex-girlfriends. She and I shared the same religious views, lived close to each other and related very, very well.

Come to find out her husband was a cheater. A serial cheater. She dealt with massive amounts of drama from him while she stayed at home practicing our religion and raising his 10 children.

Now, having an open relationship is one thing, but lying, sneaking, creeping, apologizing, working things out and doing it all over again is what she was going through. Had been going through for years. He told her he wasn’t sleeping with other women, only to have a woman show up at her door pregnant! He didn’t believe in using condoms. Ever.

When she and I met, he was expecting his 6th child outside of the marriage, and her son was about 2 months old as I said earlier. It was craaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy to find this out. This man had 16 children. 10 from her, 6 outside of her. They’d been together since sometime around high school.

Her life appeared perfect, she seemed happy and well provided for, and she had no complaints. You would never guess her husband was having unprotected sex with so many women behind her back, over and over again, unless you asked about her husband’s fidelity.

This meant her partner was exposing himself to disease regularly, bringing this risk home to her regularly, and she and I would be having sex regularly.

Hell no!

I didn’t speak to her after this conversation. She was tempting and I didn’t want to put myself in front of temptation. She made it clear, despite his cheating, she had nowhere to go with 10 kids and he knew this. She would never leave, he was her fate, the father of her 10 children. She didn’t see a way out and wasn’t working on one. I wasn’t trying to be a hero.

My husband and my ex-girlfriend works MondayThursday, long distance from home, working in healthcare where she has no time for anything but work. She comes home, she spends time with her children and goes back to work 3 days later. She’s off 3 on 4 and the travel time is pretty extensive to and from.

She claims to be a sexual angel but I don’t believe her for a moment. She’s extremely voluptuous, really outgoing and has a cute face. She’s no model, not perfect but she’s pretty attractive to me and to a lot of men too.

There’s no doubt she’s having sex but I choose to take her word for it when she says she’s not sexually active. She’s told us about a couple of encounters she had while not with us.

She has no boyfriend, is not married and divorced after 20 years with 7 kids.

We were her first relationship.

Staying safe while sexually active can be a bit tricky when it’s woman to woman but here’s a few tips:

  • Ask your potential partner about their prior partners and any current partners.
  • Ask about their protection use habits.
  • Ask explicitly their HIV status.
  • Ask about any STD’s.
  • Ask about her partner(s), do they use protection?
  • Know your status.
  • Know your STD status.
  • Pray. Seriously, pray for protection if you plan to expose yourself.
  • Take your time. It’s best to take it slow and find out more in the long run then to jump in and find out something crazy about your partner later.
  • Use the ‘finger test’. Gently insert your finger into her vagina in an intimate moment, smell your finger for any foul odor. If there is a foul odor stop. Don’t pass Go.
  • Ask about the odor or just don’t do it.
  • Use condoms if you choose to share your dildos and toys.

Those are all the precautions I could think of at this early hour.

I’d love to hear you ladies sound off on the topic. How do you protect yourselves?


One thought on “Staying Safe while Sexually Active

  1. Like you, I also choose people carefully. My husband and I do not share partners, however, when one of us meets one that we are interested in, we take precautions. I inquire in detail into the other person and get tested regularly, and I expect the same. That is the case with my husband. It is good practice, I think, to “test” a potential partner by figuring out if she wants you to be tested – that gives you an idea of her safety principles I think. I don’t understand the female dental dam or any of those other types of protection. I have actually never seen one or used one. Probably for the same reason you don’t Jay Dee.


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