Homo Heartbreak…When Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Work Out

My last heartbreak…
My gorgeous carribean, crazy as hell, young wild and outrageous ex girlfriend that lived with her abusive boyfriend.
I’d just divorced and overcome 8 years of hellish abuse in a marriage and was nearing divorce
when we met.
I divorced him within months. She stayed with her abusive boyfriend.
At first I stayed out of it. She was addicted to him.
She began calling me asking for help every time he almost killed her.
Come get her. Could she come over, could she stay?
All times of day and night. Sometimes screaming and crying.
She described horrific fights.
I always said yes right away, offered to come get her with my big, huge, male best friend.
She never did, she always let him ‘make up’ with her.
It killed me to see him killing her after all I’d learned and overcome.
At one point we identified with each other, we were eachother’s comfort.
Now I was on the outside looking in.
My situation was good and I invited her to move in with me time and time again.
She knew like I knew we’d be awesome together if she did.
She was cool with my new fiance but said no she wanted to leave him and go on her own.
She did. I was so happy.
Around that time I found out she was cheating on me with a girl in California.
Her ex, and was making plans to leave NY to get away from him.
I was so fucking sick from beginning to end over this chick but our times together were amazing.
I kinda broke ties to her.
Moved on.
Then she pops back up a few months later (I was talking to what would soon be our first mutual girlfriend) to tell me this dude who’s been in and out of prison since we met
(I met her at court for some dumb shit my kid did) has now changed his life and they got married.
Needless to say I now hated her.
I didn’t continue dialog with her.
Despite how much I loved her, I had to move on.
She broke my heart.
My now husband, who was my fiance coming into my life while I was already involved with her, watched me suffer through it all.
He held me when I cried, he talked over situations with me, he tried to help her, even encouraged me to leave her alone when
she began emotionally affecting me.
I always remained his wife first, she wasn’t overcoming my life but she was a part of my life and I loved her.
I hurt, I cried, I got upset, we argued. I went through an emotional roller coaster at times and she was totally
I loved her.
And I lost her.
To that mutherfucker.
I stayed single a year before we found a mutual girlfriend, that I’m sure I’ve blogged about.
She hit me up about a half a year or maybe a year ago (who cares?) telling me they were married, had a son in addition to what used to be my step-daughter (in my head) and they were living the life.
He always hated me. He’d never let us be together.
Why do I care?
Why did she feel the need to inform me?
I ignored her.
Heartbreak is hard, count on others…
Unless you are truly blessed with a woman that can come into your life and stay as your husband has.
Remember the heartbreaks before your Prince Charming came along?
-Jay Dee

One thought on “Homo Heartbreak…When Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Work Out

  1. That’s sad… but no one ever said that life is fair or that it cares about what you want to do. More often than not, we wind up learning how to roll with the punches, get back up, and get back into the game… but sometimes we don’t; we let the pain that life and love will cause us to break our spirit and stop seeking that which makes us happy and especially matter of the heart.

    It is what it is. You learn from it but you never, ever let these things get you down unless being chronically depressed is something that’s enjoyable. You never really get used to having your heart broken but to dwell on such things leads to madness…


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