Honestly seems to be a problem we open minded BiWives commonly face.
One who isn’t in our shoes cannot possibly understand the longing for someone we just can’t have. That special female who’s home when we get home from work, there by our side cooking dinner with us, snuggling in bed with us and our husband, taking trips during the summer as a family, picnics, holiday’s, cold winters, spring afternoon’s in the garden, dressing up for “date night” together and the list goes on.
Having a girlfriend join your marriage can be worlds of fun. If you can only find one! Many women don’t want to share, don’t want to be considered “second place” or feel like a third wheel.
What many women don’t understand is the truth is he was our husband first, but her boyfriend now! We understand this and expect there to be intimacy, emotions and maybe even love. The ideal would be for all 3 parties to love each other equally. Not one more than the other or treat one better than the other. We should form a perfect triangle as 3 equal parts of one whole.
Now all that sounded good but explaining this to a chick that’s used to having one boyfriend or one girlfriend is a tough sell.
Finding a girlfriend while married is hard enough.
Try finding one while married and asking her to join your family.
A whole ‘nother creature, lol.
It’s Summer. I’m in perfect summer physical shape. My skin is glowing, my fashion is top knotch and the females notice.
Even my husband and daughter noticed how many looks, smiles and winks I get. Women overtly flirt with me and sometimes I don’t know what to do. Honestly.
Here’s the scenario:
Passing In The Summer Sun.
The sun is shining, I’m shining beautifully, feeling lovely in my city enjoying the summer sun. I’m walking down the block jamming to my Pandora, taking in the sites, scoping out photos (I’m always prepared to snap a shot of my amazing city) and all of a sudden I notice a gorgeous woman coming my way.
She’s radiant, the sun bathes her skin, her body swishes toward me moving in all the right directions and I flush. Yes, a black woman can flush, lol. I get all hot and excited. Instantly my mind decides if she’ll be receptive to any advance I might make in our upcoming fleeting moment. Most times I get the Erykah Badu, India Aire type of women who are just so darned naturally beautiful and earthy. Now, I was/am this kind of woman and most women of this type live a life of spiritual enlightenment. To have one look directly at you and emit that flame, send that spark your way can be a bit confusing seeing as most spiritually enlightened women don’t tend to lean toward bisexuality rather a life of sexual purity.
If she’s keeping up with it in the few seconds we’re walking toward each other I’ll either say something or I smile, blush and look away for some reason. Yes, this social butterfly, sexually outspoken woman has a shy streak.
I’ve let quite a few slip away just this week alone. The ones I’ve hollered at honestly weren’t wifey material and I was just trying to fuck. This is New York, another home of the big beautiful asses and gorgeous ghetto broads looking to do just that.
It’s a luck of the draw here.
In any case, I’ve decided to present myself to these beautiful women who seem to want me to say something to them.
My question is why don’t they say something to me?
Why smile, flirt and just keep walking?
Does something about me say I’m the aggressive type that’ll say something first.
Does something in them make them believe they’re more ladylike than me and I must do the pursuing?
I don’t know but they say a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
I can testify to that truth.
If I can get her, if I could allow her into my world, our world, if she allows me to love her and she loves me, then maybe I can introduce her to the idea of us both being in her life.
If she gets to know me she’ll get to know him.
She’ll see the benefits of being with us both, vs looking outside of us for a boyfriend that may or may not treat her well.
That’s how I’ve found someone else for us in the past…
I’m actively looking again.