Threesome Guidelines

A post inspired by one of Our readers, Lucy Ā šŸ™‚

What are some of the guidelines?

Well, it all depends on the couple. The couple sets the guidelines, well in advance of the actual threesome taking place.

This is something that should be discussed well before even selecting someone. There may even be guidelines for the selection criteria! Maybe seeing him with a particular type of female sends all of your raging jealous hormones into overdrive vs. another type of female.

Either way it goes ground rules should be set.

Using my husband and I’s guidelines I’ll give you an example.

  • No Kissing between him and her, no matter how intense, kissing is something reserved for us.
  • Nothing is done unprotected. Condoms at all times!
  • If it gets too intense, if bad feelings develop we stop right away.
  • Respect each other’s emotions should a situation come about.
  • No exchange of bodily fluids-ever.

I say DON’T EVER HAVE A THREESOME IF:

  • You already feel pain at the mere thought of it
  • You really don’t want to
  • If your relationship is not in a good place
  • If you are not in a good place within your relationship
  • If he wants it more than you do
  • If he wants it primarily to be with someone besides you
  • If you think it will hurt your marriage in any way

A threesome is about your sexuality-not his desire to have sex with more than one woman! This is about your exploration not his selfish needs.

  • Establish how much contact the two should have, if any.
  • Will he just watch?
  • Who will it be?
  • Will it be a one time thing?
  • How will I feel when it’s over?
  • How will he look at me when it’s over? (if you know your spouse very well)

Will I be okay when it’s over? Will he?

What about her boundaries, her guidelines?

Very simple. Discuss them, all 3 of you, and respect them!

-Jay Dee

Questions? Comments?

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Threesome Guidelines

  1. I have to agree with Jay Dee’s comments on men wanting to watch. As a male in the past I’ve really had no interest in watching videos etc of girl on girl action and I’ve never actually seen it in real life, but for some reason, knowing my wife is bisexual and attracted to woman the thought does turn me on and I’ve told her such. I think because in everything else in our life I value and respect my wife’s thoughts and ideas I apply the same logic to something that traditionally I would close the door to. Therefore, because she is interested in woman sexually I am then turned on by that and thus interested to watch. In most cases (and I am most cases) men don’t last as long as woman in bed, so I’d prefer to watch her with another woman and then eventually join in. , I’ve never had a threesome or watched people have sex in real life, but personally I feel watching at least makes the male part of the situation. He’s there for it and doesn’t have to wonder what happened and more importantly he’s watching and learning another side of his wife that he would not have been able to properly hypothesize..

  2. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Thank you – you’ve actually been really helpful – I have no reference point for these things. I’ve been with him since I was 15, so I really don’t know what’s reasonable. I’m a lot closer than I was two months ago to telling him. A lot closer, I’m still looking for the right time to tell him. But I can feel that I’m about to.

    1. That’s great! I’m glad I could be of some help. You just make sure you stay true to yourself and don’t be afraid to show him the real you! If he loves you now I’m sure he’ll love you after you tell him šŸ™‚

  3. thank you for posting this, it was really helpful. Is it common for the guy to just watch? could anyone tell me more about the logistics and what is common/reasonable for me to ask of him?

    1. I can say in my experience it is very common for him to want to watch. I’ve yet to have a boyfriend or husband that didn’t want to watch. Even the homophobic watched, seriously. Most guys want to watch, then have their partners sexually. If they can have the other girl too without ramification they’ll surely go for it. That’s the male ideal in this situation. The bi wife that brings home new pussy every now and then.
      Brutally honest but one of my frequent experiences.
      Should you be jealous at the thought?
      I don’t think so. I’ve accepted the desire for variety is the nature of man. At least you guys are having fun together! If he starts bring them home or harping on it then it’s an issue.

      What’s reasonable to ask him?

      Exactly what you feel! Ask him what your heart says to ask him. I personally love to see my husband with another person and both truly enjoying it. It’s sexy …sometimes. Other times I get insanely jealous. I’ve dealt with this for a long time.
      When I get jealous I contain it and calmly address the issue when it’s not awkward. Express it clearly.
      I try to examine what made me jealous before I speak to him/them about it-if my emotions give me that much time.
      Takes a lot of self control sometimes. I have spazzed back in my teenage days (but not since, lol). True “I’mma kick yo ass!” emotionally trippin over something that happened in a threesome.
      It’s not necessarily an easy thing to do if your heart is wrapped in his and/or it’s something new for you.

      Then again, it might be an easy thing to do if you’re naturally sexually open or if you’re just feeling that frisky. šŸ™‚

      I happen to be one that feels frisky frequently, lmao!

      -Jay Dee

COMMENT

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s