And so here I go again…

Kind of. See the thing is I want her, I feel as if sometimes I need her…but my life has changed. I don’ t have it for the serious chase. I’m just going with flow an dputting the energy out there she will come to me…soon. But I’m looking where I can, keeping my eyes open, not allowing an opportunity to pass by either lol.

He really is priority and we’re working toward real life goals together. We don’t need anything to set us off balance, we already face many challenges. We have been through drama with someone not too long ago.

Now say ‘She’s’ drama free. Cool. Well, usually chill hubby has thrown a monkey wrench into the game in year 4. When I began this search again I didn’t ask his permission, I didn’t update him with every sentence of every email and text again. I figure if I get a date I’ll let him know all about her, go on the date and keep him abreast if anything more developed.

He keeps saying to me how much he misses our threesomes with our ex and he wants that back. HE wants another woman. Whoa, HE wants another woman.

photo credit whatyouallow.com 2

My sexuality is not based on his sexual desires, nor is his mine but he has been very accommodating. I’m writing an erotica blog about a fictitious husband and his sexual explorations based on my fantasies and desires for my own reality, lol. My husband and I have done some things, others we haven’t. I’m not into sharing play by play details, lol. Overall he’s been a good sport, and so have I.

(Look for the soon to come blog The Exploration of Kenny. Hot, graphic, realistic.).

The exploration of a Bisexual Married Man
The exploration of a Bisexual Married Man

I really can’t say eff u “I’m doing this my way or no way!” at this particular point in time.I decided to see if any of the females I’d had the fortune to meet would be open to that type of situation. Seems we have one prospect but she’s not girlfriend material for me and I don’t mind the NSA thing but he’ll most likely want it to continue until I find a girlfriend. She’s not what I want.

I’m in my own pickle here because the female I’m most interested in is married as well. She has no interest in being with my husband nor I hers. We just want each other.beautiful black women kissing

I’m not sure if they’ll watch if we ever do get together but if they did I don’t mind. I would be so lost in her it’s been so long since I’ve been wrapped up in the bliss that is female essence. So long as I can get my hands on her over and over again they can watch all they want! Sheesh she’s gorgeous and we’d be a sexy couple this summer.With our sexy husbands in tow. 🙂 I love biwifelife sometimes! This was my fantasy until he popped my bubble.

I used to like the idea of a Triad but Our ex wanting to have his child, her being able to do so I unable to naturally conceive on top of her being madly in love with my husband in a way that made me uncomfortable kind of off set me from the idea of Triad. Not jealous emotions just my senses tingling like “don’t do this. All bad.” when it came time to consider blending the two families. Her 5+ children with our 4. No, it wouldn’t have been 9, more than that. That wasn’t the issue, we love babies and we want a house full. The issue was I don’t want to share my husband that much right now. I really love this dude and I want to continue to build our lives into a solid foundation, like really a solid empire, lol, without outside emotional interruption and possibly internal emotional issues based on our outside emotions for ‘Her’. It’s the emotional bond of marriage that plays an extremely huge part in longevity. Sounds like deep shit but really, deeper thinking and pondering prevents walking into big Mac Trucks in life. Sexually we do what we do (no emo) and that’s that, we don’t have issues there. A Poly relationship is based on mutual love. Three people loving each other, building lives together as a family. Not something I want right now and he can’t understand it. He’s just basically like if she’s not giving it up to me too you can’t be with her or begin a relationship with her. Females don’t just give it up to a good married man every now and then. Especially not us. Most females fall in love first time with us and try to move quickly. We are nimble but in a poly situation who’s to say one day he may not fall for another woman. Am I ready for that. At one point in time I was. Today I’m not.  Women fall in love, men do too, situations develop, emotions run crazy, this is my marriage potentially at stake if things don’t go well.

Credit: JayBlessed.com

the perfect threesome picI know, I’ve experienced all types of relationship heaven, hell and purgatory. I’m not ready to set myself up for dramatics. It looks like hubby and I have to really  talk this out. I’m not sure what will happen but I’ll keep you guys updated 😉

I haven’t txt her back to arrange our first meeting. We live not too far from each other. I don’t know if I should tell my husband I really want to meet her or move on and keep looking for someone that fits he and I and not just me. I’m not asking for advice, I believe in flow and energy. This thing will work itself out in due time, I’m not rushing. I’m done with the mental and physical search for ‘Her’. I will lay my eyes upon ‘Her’ and she will see me, we will be. I have faith she’s out there and for some reason I feel like this is ‘Our’ year to cross each other’s paths. Maybe because that’s the energy I’m putting out there.

So here we go again.

***I’m trying to figure out how to apply a magazine layout to BiWifeLife, I have so much content I’d like to add to this site. Any help there would be awesome!***

Look forward to hearing from you all! I’m looking, checking and replying to comments even if I haven’t posted that day!

Welcome to BiWifeLife. Thank you for reading, I encourage you to post, comment, read more, share and become a member of this community.

With enough active members I can launch the official BiWives Club. That would be awesome. I’m here…my computer better not crash again! lol.

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