The Stigma of Being Bisexual

I’d like to thank @ for her comment on one of my previous posts.

JUNE 7, 2013 AT 9:34 AM  “I don’t think the fight is yet over for bisexuals; there’s still a lot of stigma surrounding them, like the associations of promiscuity.”
She is absolutely right. I’m a fighter, the one to break the status quo, jump outside the box and yell for the world to join me. I haven’t had a cause in a long time and I’m not looking for one but her comment sparked something in me. The old flame flickered just a bit and I felt that old anger. The anger came because the reality of the statement was monumental. She’s absolutely 100% correct there is a strong stigma associated with being bisexual still.
The stigma associated with being bisexual is a muted but very real stigma. Party girls who like girls, metro guys and twenty somethings having sex with both sexes in collegiate, post teen fun is just that-fun. When we’re married, settling into a relationship or even dating someone long term we’re expected to be with that one person only. Well, for bisexuals it doesn’t work that way. We can’t be with just one sex. It’s against our very nature. One person may like strawberries, another bananas, another both. Each person has their preference sexually but society’s structure says there’s no room for loving more than one sex. Either you’re gay or straight, we haven’t gotten to bisexual and pansexuals (love for all genders) yet.
When I meet a beautiful woman and they find I’m married the initial reaction is usually along the lines of assuming I’m cheating, he doesn’t know, I’m a sleep with lots of women, I’m confused about my sexuality, I’m a lesbian hiding in a straight marriage, I’m a sexual high risk, I’m not a good wife, what about my kids?, the list goes on.
Sure I’ve slept with a woman recently and she’s not my girlfriend. I don’t have a girlfriend! Does that mean I can’t have sex with another woman without being a slut or some type of sexual monster? How many gay/hetero people sleep with persons who they are not in a relationship with? My straight side is married. A man stands no chance to even flirt with me. Not Tyrese Gibson himself can take me from the man I married. Tyrese just can’t be him.
My bisexual side is single, committed to no woman and hoping to one day meet Her.
I feel this of myself: there’s a masculine side of me that needs a woman in his life. He loves the way a woman smells, feels, tastes, sounds. He loves making her smile, watching her walk, hearing her voice, spending time with her (and the kids if she has any). If he actually finds Her he’ll spend his life loving her and making her happy. No other female can capture his vision, her beauty is too bright.
Despite my outer feminity I do have a very strong masculine side-and it’s real.
My feminine side needs a strong man, good provider, father, god fearing, educated & intelligent sexy man with great stamina and an open mind; a man who knows how to handle a strong woman gently and lovingly. Well the Good Lord placed him right in my life. My prayers were sincerely answered All Praises Due! Yaaaaaay! Many women don’t find their perfect mate. I’d like to think I did, at least my perfect male mate.
Why can’t I love, marry and give my life to a woman as well as man? Because the stigma of how we have sex, how we date, what our marriages must be like, who we have sex with and how many people we have sex with has not been pondered by society enough to have a clear decision on how to deal with us. Either we marry a man or a woman. Period. If we choose to have sex with the same sex outside of our marriage assumptions are made about our character and lives in general.
The stigma has been created and it hasn’t been lifted yet.
If the question’s ever been imposed-what about bisexuals-are we equal? Well, now that the Gay rights movement has succeeded maybe someone will pioneer the Bisexual & Pansexual Rights Movement.
It’s through education stigmas are destroyed!
What can you do to educate and abolish the stigma around bisexual married women? Come on…comment-you can do it!
Don’t forget to hit the follow button on your way out & share the link! I follow back 😀
-Jay Dee
(thanks commonsensecreeping, great topic!)


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