Bisexuality and Religion- Let’s do it early-get it out the way ;)

One of my readers posted a comment telling me her relationship with her girlfriend was terminated because of a religious conversation and it invoked a post I know we all need to read but a touchy one. Strap in for a read, scroll down, see if you have time to read it. And read after it. I’m sure you will want to 🙂

So, here goes…

The Torah, Bible and Quran make no direct mention of the penalty of sin of woman lying with woman in intimacy.

Holy Bible

Research, do your best to find something in any of the three books (in the literal, not how you interpret a verse, or what so and so says this verse means, or your pastor said this verse means such and such. Show me a verse in a book). If you find a verse please do post the info in a  comment below this one. I would love to see where it specifies female on female sex is a sin, prohibited, forbidden, a crime or anything evil or even spoken of period! Not being facetious just knowledge seeking honestly.

I am a very learned woman in religion. I’ve read, read, re-read, studied, discussed, researched & taught religion in various settings. Formally and informally.  I’ve met with high ranking spiritual advisors, talked with learned believers, watched videos & lectures and the list of learning goes on.

I stopped my religious quest around 2009/2010.

I began my quest in 1994 independently.

I am the firstborn child of a Pastor.

My mother read the bible to me nightly until I reached reading age and began on my own.

I was born with God in my spirit and on my tongue.

Everyone thought I’d be a preacher just like my Dad…

I aspired to be as righteous a woman I could be but everywhere I turned was reading homosexuality was an abomination. Did it apply to women too? Did God hate me because I loved women? I could never be a preacher. I was a sinner.

People told me I was going to burn in hell, I was a sinner, and the list goes on. Now, at first nobody said these things to my face, I read them in the book(s) I loved so much. The Bible, then the Quran. They both said man lying with man was a great sin. For years and years sporadically I cried and cried wondering why God would hate me when I loved Him so much. I tried so hard to be a good  servant to him. He knew this. I was a walking example, I spread the word to any receptive soul. I taught those with hate how to love, I gave charity, did good deeds, I was a child and warrior of God.

I was also bisexual.

From the time I could remember.

In the first grade my mother caught me kissing a girl in the closet.

I had “boyfriend” at the time.

I was becoming aware of sexuality…my sexuality.

I liked boys… and girls.

Through all my research & reading I’ve yet to see a scripture or verse in any book speaking of women lying with women. I wondered why then did so many people tell me I was going to hell when they found out about my sexuality?

I got frustrated and turned my back on God. I just really wanted to be a good God servant so bad and He supposedly hated me for something I couldn’t change; just like I couldn’t change who my parents were or what color skin I had. After I abandoned Him I’d wish He’d send me a sign He was still there (as if He’d ever left, smh), that He still loved me.

He was tough with me but the God I believe in loves me like I love me (& I’ve got a thing for me!) but way more. 😀

I am  and always have been so abundantly blessed. He’s never left my side! He’s always there when I need Him (sometimes He leaves a sister wondering where the heck He’s at but He always comes on time, lol).  He calls to me when I slip away, when I know I’m about to do wrong. He’s always right here all the time. He’s never let me go even on the worst of my worst days. I’ve had many miracles in my life and the funny part is I’ve always been bisexual! So, if God hates me and I’m going to hell why am I so blessed? Why did he bless me with gorgeous, intelligent and healthy children? The best husband a girl could ask for? A mother and father who are still living and healthy, understading and supportive? Gorgeous  siblings? A good education, intelligence, beauty, talent, health, good friends and so many small blessings I can’t list them all!?

Every day I’m abundantly blessed.

Truth is, nobody knows what God is going to do, how he “feels”, what he’s “thinking”. Nobody can tell you anything about you and your relationship with God, that’s between you two! He created you from a blood clot in your mother’s womb and breathed your soul, your life into her body. He created each of your organs, body parts, skin and features in your mother’s womb with care and took his time. He provided you with nourishment and protection while He was working on His creation-You. Nine or however many months later you were born, and He loved you as much as He did when He was creating you. You were perfect. To Him, His angels and your parents you were just perfect. You were innocent then. At some point you began to realize who you are. You figured out you were white or black, straight, bisexual, poor or rich.

At some point in your life you read the Bible, Torah or Quran and you saw scary words. You heard horrible things from your religious leaders at service and from the congregation, neighbors, family and friends about gay people. Now you realize somehow your  God might not love you anymore because you have come to realize you are something He can’t possibly love,


Direct Quote from the Matriarch of my family, the final authority in our bloodline: “God made us in His image and His likeness. Gen 1:27 That means if you are purple, white, blue, gay, straight, bisexual, whatever you are He created you in His image, His likeness. How could He hate you if He made you in His likeness and image? Each one of us was created perfectly by Him the way He wanted us to be. Period.”

When she said that it was like years of mental abuse (from readings, conversations, services, etc…) melted away. This is a woman who’s love and life is The Church. Her son is a Pastor, the father of her children a Pastor, other family members Evangelists. She made sense. So much sense I was relieved internally, a part of me quietly exhaled and my soul didn’t ache anymore. I knew God loved me still. I’d been struggling with my faith because of my sexuality and I took it to her. He spoke those words through her I believe. He knew what my soul needed to hear and I finally heard it. After all these years of reading and research something so simple could be the answer I was searching for-God accepts me as I am, as he created me!

rainbow with sky

I didn’t choose to be bisexual, at the very beginning of my becoming aware of sexuality I was naturally attracted to both sexes. I’ve always been spiritually torn.

Through all my years of research and soul searching she said the most common sense thing I’ve ever heard, 110% bible based, quoted from the Book of Genesis without changing a word. Now, it subjective interpretation in the slightest sense for all you critics and deeper thinkers out there but it wasn’t a bit off from what I immediately looked up and read as she said it. It made sense and it was written. I’ll roll with that one. May God forgive me if I’m wrong.

If child molesters, murders, rapists, animal abusers, child abusers can be forgiven for their sins why couldn’t I…if I was sinning? I was told by an Islamic Scholar what God sets forth for man in scripture stands for wo-man. I think that’s interpretation because God is very clear on what is for man and what is for woman in the books. If we can base our lives as religious servants around living the literal sense of the books why interpret what we wish how we wish applying it to what we wish when we wish? Make sense?

I take the book(s) for what they say. I’m no saint, I’ve fallen off the path much in the past few years. I always have ups and downs with my righteousness, even when I stray far. I always come back. God willing my heart will beat long enough for me to get there again. Love yourself as God does.  I do my best to love myself and those in my life the way I love me, the way He loves me. The God I know of is a merciful one. He created us all in His Likeness and His image.

For the record, I’m not justifying any form of homosexuality in religion.

All books are very specific regarding men lying with men, each religion has their own stance on dealing with homosexuality and they are to be respected as such. There is no bending the rules, only choosing not to follow the rules if you choose to follow the religion and live it as your life. Those who choose to can believe other than the scriptures or believe what is written, that is the will of Mankind. All books were written by man, all tampered with excluding the Quran preserved 1400 years to date, scholarly .

“I don’t know everything, haven’t read everything, didn’t go to Theological, Seminary or Divinity School. I’m not saying being bisexual is okay in any religion, these are just my current thoughts on the topic.” -J.D

Some things have been added, some things have been taken out, whole chapters and books lost from The Bible and Torah. There’s nothing pure about these books. Do your own research. Critics suggest even The Quran is not pure!

Do your research on how each religious book was compiled and it’s contributing authors. You’d be surprised what you find.

What about this version, that version, this interpretation, that interpretation of the books?

Do you feel comfortable basing your life off of other people’s version of God’s word?

Try finding the original un-tampered version of your Holy book if you are serious about your religion.

It’s worth knowing more than knowing less.

If you feel severely torn or in crisis talk to a trusted friend, family member or don’t be ashamed to get a counselor.

 What are your thoughts?

Do you have a dilemma because of your religious beliefs?Share it with us.

You never know who you might help!

 Know your God, know your religion beyond just what you’ve been taught, know yourself, love yourself. Never stop learning, growing and researching! If you’re going to base your life off it, you should know as much about it as possible!

-Jay Dee

Here’s a place for further reading.

Who Wrote The Bible and Why It Matters, Dr. Bart D. Ehrman


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