What is a Homophobic? How do I deal with one?

Homo- meaning same sex, Phobia-meaning fear. Homophobia means fear of homosexuals. When scared most people lash out. In an effort to protect their families, homes, loved ones they lash out to keep their fears away from the home front. These people are usually very vocal about their feelings toward gay/bisexual people. They hurl slurs, they avoid associated places and people at all costs, they make rude jokes and say very hurtful things agains gay and bisexual people. Some even resort to physical violence, bullying and even rape. What gay/bisexual person do you know would want to be around that? Homophobia stems from many things. For some it’s upbringing, religious beliefs, fear, questioning of selves, bad experiences, a host of reasons can make someone homophobic. It’s my personal belief homophobics need help and counseling to get to the root of their phobia just as a person who suffers from a case of any other severe phobia would.


Understanding the psychology of a homophobic mind makes it a bit easier to deal with one when encountering one.

Have you ever all of a sudden found yourself in a conversation with a homophobic? Did you ask yourself what to do? Was it even a question for you? Did you open your mouth and defend “our kind”. Or did you just make your way through the conversation as best you could without tolerating or inflicting verbal pain?

I’ve battled bible thumpers, homophobes and everything in between. It’s so not worth it. In the end people will believe what they wish, what they were told or what they strongly believe in. You can’t change that.If they think gay/bisexual is bad, you can’t change their mind.

What you can do is tell someone what your perception is, and how the topic makes YOU feel. How they take what you say is their choice. How you react thereafter is yours as well. If you are pro and they are con you can easily be sucked into a ‘battle’.


Being ourselves can be hard at times and the one thing I learned over time is battling is a waste of energy. Heated gay/straight debates are a waste of time. Talking calmly without sarcasm is probably the best way to get through to an ignorant mind. The person can hear you better instead of being defensive.

In the end of many of these past conversations we’ve agreed to disagree. Sometimes hotly, sometimes amicably.

Either way the one thing I know is I exist, I’m not a mistake, abomination, satan worshiper, adultress or any other evil slur. God doesn’t hate me, this I know because I am abundantly blessed. I am not confused, this is not a phase, I am a well cultivated me. I love me. God loves me and no matter who judges, it’s okay to be me. 🙂

What do you do when you encounter a homophobe?


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